Monday, January 26, 2009

same old same

Weigh in today, no change..I think we all kinda feel like we are stuck. It's easy to get frustrated and wanna give up! We all need to remember that this is a journey, every week is not going to be sucessful. If it were so easy, we wouldn't all be at the point we are at! I hope everyone can continue to keep a positive attitude and support one another. Here's to a great week!!!

Friday, January 23, 2009

You guys Rock!

Thanks so much for all of your great words and support. I am so over what my lovely daughter told me yesterday. I think I was already frustrated because I have been an emotional wreck the last week or so. I had to have a hysterectomy a few years ago (at age 27) and was "fortunate" enough to have one ovary left. I was told it would save me form hormone replacement therapy in the long run, I thought putting up with the continual ovarian cysts, extreme belly pain and ovulation from hell would be worth it to avoid hormones. But the last month I have started having massive hot flashes like right after the surgery, I have horrid insomnia on top of my girls having night terrors so it feels like I am half asleep all day. Then there's my hormones!! I am irrational and emotional and I internally pick on myself all day. That's why I was so excited to do this, I know y'all look at me and wonder why I would want to lose weight. Really, I don't care about losing the weight! I really just want to re-train my brain to think rationally about loving myself before I drive myself and my poor husband crazy. I want to also be healthy, aerobically I am nearly dead. I would guarantee any one of you ladies could kick my butt aerobically, I know that its important to change that to make my organs healthier. I also have wanted to tone up for years. Having babies changes our bodies. We basically sacrifice ourselves for them from the moment of conception!! Thank your mothers ladies, they did the same for us. So, when Lexi said that it took me by surprise and it kinda stung. I know that my arms aren't that bad, but it is an area I do want to work on. If anyone has any great arm workouts, I would appreciate your input! And thank you so much again for your support, it means so much to me!!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

I'm depressed.....

So, I'm sitting on the couch a few minutes ago. I'm bummin' around in my "dont pollute my planet" T-shirt cuz all I've been doing is cleaning the house. Lexi, my next-week-will-be-six-year-old daugter comes and sits down beside me and starts playing with my arm. Right as I go to flex for her she says "momma, your arms are all flabby!" I almost started to cry!!! Tim piped up and was like "lexi, that was really rude and you need to apologize to your mother. You don't say things like that" But honestly, it was the truth coming out of a very observant little girl who was not trying to hurt my feelings, she doesn't make things better than they are either by trying to flatter. I guess I need to first, teach her some tact, and then get a really good exercise to tone them up.... =(

Monday, January 19, 2009

A Good Idea?

So, this may seem really random, but I know that a lot of us are eating the Yoplait light yogurts. They have a promotion going on right now called the pound for pound challenge. Each lid that is saved and sent in to yoplait is worth 10 cents towards fighting hunger in America. I have at least a dozen, but I was thinking that if we all saved them and collected them to send in, we could help make a difference for someone who needs it out there. The economy has hit a lot of families and the news is filled with people who are struggling. Just a thought because I know that we look at those lids and think "my 12 wont make that much of a difference, why bother" and we really could make a difference if we all did it. Lemme know what you think, I will send them in myself regardless but it would be nice to possibly change someone elses circumstances in life while we change ours =).

A Better Week

I'll start out saying, that last week sucked in my eating. I will confess, right now, that I ate spoonfulls of chocolate chip cookie dough-from the tub-on Saturday night as I watched "The Women". I do hope that it was not as bad as the scene in said movie where Meg Ryan eats a stick of butter by dipping it into cocoa and sugar, but alas I do not know! I did pay for this dearly as my stomach was not happy with me. I suffered belly pain all night! Also, while confessions are out there, those of us who were there for Fridays "class" (LOL) were somewhat convinced by our waitresses declaration at IHOP that we could order whatever we wanted, why? She said it was "Fat Free Friday", and that we were so lucky it was not tomorrow when it would be "super Saturated Saturday" whereas the calories were extra fattening. Yes, we indeed grasped onto this futile straw of nonsense!! She let us in on the fact that we did actually believe, each IHOP pancake has 20 grams of fat and over 200 calories, that's not counting the butter and syrup we slather on them!! Can you believe that?

So here we are a new week. I swear last time we did this, I was more in tune with what I needed to be doing. I feel like I am letting myself down, I know what to do and I am being lazy. I weighed myself today, and despite the crap I fed into my body last week, I lost over a pound. I only have 3 pounds left, but a lot of inches. The weight hasn't been so much of an issue this time, but I m going to start measuring every week and judge my work from that. I bought some little 2lb weight balls, kind of like medicine balls, but they are used in toning exercises I found in Shape Magazine. These exercises kick my butt-hopefully they'll shrink my butt as well LOL!

So the kids have been home from school for 4 days, my kindergartner 5 days. I am ready for school to be back into session. I think that as moms its easier for us to justify our actions of not taking care of ourselves when we give ourselves the excuse of "the kids come first". Obviously this is a skill we have to learn. I have 5 kids. Before kids, I reveled in exercise. I would go to work, salivating at the thought of running. It was not work for me! My 5 miles a day would pass sometimes too quickly. I loved the feel of the pavement as I took each step, pounding away the "stress" I thought I had back then. A couple years after marriage when I got pregnant with our first, I had morning sickness so bad that it was all I could do to walk, let alone run anymore. I had morning sickness with every child until they came into this world, seriously I would still be puking as I pushed. I used to joke that Pregnancy was my form of diet because I would drop 20 pounds or so every time and then come home weighing less than before I actually got pregnant. I figured it out the other day that for the 13 and a half years I have been married, I was pregnant or nursing babies for a decade of that. Why I couldn't figure out how to take care of this body during that time is easy, everyone else came first. I wanna figure out how to be healthy and take care of myself this time around. We can all do it, and those of you who are just starting to have kids please take this heed from me-don't ignore yourselves because you feel that everyone else should come first. If you don't take care of you, you cant be as efficient in any other area of your life. That's a regret for me, wondering how much better I could have been as a mom and wife had I just taken a time out.

This week I am wanting to be sure to do my whole toning routine, and eat better. I will attempt to drink half my body weight in water every day and post every couple days. I hope y'all are doing well!!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

First week down!

So our first week flew by! It was a lot harder than I remember last year being.. I think it has something to do with the fact that I must've gotten really lax! Last week I concentrated on helping some ladies get their blogs up and running, and giving crash courses in the basics of weight watcher points, and getting my points down. I started exercising at the gym this week, tonight will be day three. I have actually enjoyed that part! I have been going with my Aunt Patti, who is doing this with us, Aunt Patti, I am so impressed with your determination and dedication to this process-props to you!!!

I am hoping that through this process, I can tone up my body and "reward" it for all of its hard work its done for me through the years. I am tired of being tired. Carrie and I have talked about how we really dont want to do this again. 2 years in a row for petes sake, isn't 2 years in a row, one year total out of 2 when we are done this time, thats a lot of time trying to get it right. I hope that I can raise my metabolism, and start LOVING exercising like I used too so that this processs is just a part of my every day life.

Melissa and I chatted the other day about the 5k and how great it was, and how it would be really fun to do it again this year. Last time I had gotten food poisoning the night before. I had to stop three times on the route to puke, but I was going to run and finish it if it killed me! It was a good feeling afterwards, and I think it would be fun again this year, anyone up for it?

I also think we should do another food swap. I loved having lunches ready, and knowing I had a great variety to choose from. Anyone up for that?

My goals for this week are to keep up the exercise, keep positive and try to post more!! Over 2 lbs down, not many more to go, but I really want to lose some inches. Keep up the good work ladies, I am rooting for all of you!!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The other day as friend and I were chatting back and forth (texting), She got down on herself as I often do. She made an offhanded comment about her beauty, and all the extra things on her body that didn't used to be there. I have self esteem issues and in doing this contest I hope to just learn to love myself, accept the parts of me I will never change. How to do that? I have no clue. I am on a journey! However, I texted this to her, and I really meant it. I think it applies to us all!!

"We all have stretch marks, some surgery scars, and skin that will never be the same..I think that getting to the point where we realize that all of those things are always going to be a part of us, a part of the story we tell on having babies, health problems and putting others first, part of our life's journey. And more importantly, we need to figure out how to love ourselves because of and in spite of them. That, that would be the best reward I could think of...We are all beautiful, and we all have battle scars. Our husbands love us regardless of how "imperfect" we think our bodies are, we should be able to as well!!!"

I really do hope that we can all learn that beauty does not define who we are, perfection in these bodies is NEVER going to happen and to constantly be seeking it at all cost is irresponsible and the damage could be irreversible. I am so glad to be on this "journey" With all of you. No matter what we accomplish along the way to losing weight, I really hope we can all gain a respect and love for our bodies, for the women we are not only on the outside, but the inside..

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

ok ladies! So last year I regretted not taking monthly pictures of myself. Melissa and Tammy were awesome about it, and it was really amazing to see the transformation that took place, in all the photographic glory LOL! So here I am, for all to see, every bump, flaw and imperfection!! I hope that this will be great for me to see the areas I really want to work on, and the improvements that I have made as time goes by. Hard work DOES pay off, so although I am scared for y'all to see this, I am also ecstatic to begin this journey!!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Start Of BL 2009

So, I cannot believe the year has flown by so darn fast! I have had this blog for a year... It really seems like just yesterday that we decided to get together to lose weight and become healthier women together. I have sucked at times with my posts, but through this last year I want to let you all know that your support, and your sharing of your lives has been so wonderful. Going to some of your blogs on days left me crying as my heart hurt with each of you as you struggled, other days when I felt like I couldn't get any lower you left me crying again, with laughter! And here we are again, a new year facing each of us. I am so thankful that we will be able to do it again together. I have formed great friendships, strengthened others and found a passion once again that I thought was lost forever, myself.
I have been struggling of late on body issues, so this has come at the perfect time for me. I need your support in seeing myself through true eyes that are not clouded with self doubt. I am so firm in my belief that we need to instill the gift of self love to our kids, especially our daughters. I am so grateful for Dove's Campaign For Real Beauty, they have an incredible site with teaching tools, discussion boards and videos. Today as I was getting online and an ad popped up for this campaign, my older kids were hanging on me like they often do and I saw a teaching moment. I explained to my kids that the world is filled with images that are beautiful, but a lot of those images are distorted and computer generated. I told my oldest daughter Chantelle (9) that she has to be careful not to compare herself, or try to be like these women. I told my oldest son Tyler (11) that he has to never compare real women to these ads, that he needs to always respect a woman for who she is and never based on how she looks compared to any ad. He said "mom, I already know that. Those women are all fakey, all it is is make-up, wigs and dumb stuff like that" Yay, if he can only keep that view and not be bombarded with all that "fakey" beauty that's so seductive, that we as grown women who know its not real still crave it and put these expectations on ourselves. I showed them the video of the women who is ordinary and beautiful, and what they do to her to make her look "perfect". Chantelle wondered what was wrong with her to begin with, and why they would need to cover up her freckles and shave parts of her at the end, like her neck and why they changed her eyes. Yeah, why?! They had another video, and this is the one I wanted to share, it's self explanatory and it goes along with a bumper sticker I saw the other day when I was having serious put down thoughts. It read "Don't Believe Everything You Think", and I am sure it meant something completely different, but it smacked me in the face and made me realize that yeah, I cant believe everything I think about myself. OK, here's the link: you may need to copy and paste, but take the time to watch it, its only 1 minute long. It's the dove film called "Amy", and take a moment to start a conversation with your daughters, no matter how old they are. Be so careful with how you talk about yourselves, lets try to raise our daughters, and sons, in a world where they don't have to kill themselves to be beautiful. Lets teach our sons to respect women for true, real beauty not the distorted beauty facing them every way they turn, and how to truly know the difference...