GRRR....

Ever have one of THOSE days?! Well today is one of them for me. I got to start the day out with a meeting at the elementary school with the principal, Jordan's first grade teacher, and the school psychologist. We, if you have read my blog know, Jordan has been our struggle kid. we all have one, admit this now. We held him back a year in kindergarten because he wasn't ready for school. His teacher last year and I communicated everyday about every issue under the sun. Within moments of meeting his teacher this year at back to school night, I spoke to her about all of these things and let her know that we were evaluating for ADD and that I would be giving her the paperwork to track him. She told me that she had been a teacher for a long time (30+ years) and that she had some very sucessful strategies for dealing with "these" kids and please, give her a chance to try them out. Well I was all for it! I know some of you who may read this are thinking, medication is a copout. You don't understand, we have tried every thing we know how. We have tracked his eating and sleeping habits, tried behavior modifications, tried positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, more one on one, YOU NAME IT we have tried it!!! So after 2 weeks of getting phone calls from the principal about everythig from food fights to bullying, we set up this meeting. It went fairly well, but I am just frustrated to find out today that the whole reason his teacher didnt want Jordan on meds is because she had an ADD son who had a bad experience on them. Well, first of all every kid is different, second of all had I known this info, as his parent I would have gone ahead with the meds at the start of the year and he may be doing better now. It's not even his academic issues, he is the smartest, fastest learning kid in the class apparently and she wants to put him into gifted classes, he just cant sit still and so she cant do it. So we went up to the doctors office and got the paperwork for me, the teacher and the psychologist to fill out and the girls are fighting and screaming at eachother the entire way to and from, then halfway home the oil light and warning goes off so I have to haul them out of the car to go into auto zone to get oil. Then I cant get the stupid oil cap off, when I finally do I see it's down a quart. I fill it up, thankfully the light and darn warning bells go off. As I turn onto my street they go off again! GRRR....!! So I dont know whats wrong with the stupid thing!! I made the girls lunch because they say they are starving, do they eat it? NO! they fight over a flippin' McDonalds toy for 5 minutes before my nerves are finally frayed t the point that I took the toy and I opened the kitchen window and I threw it as far as I could!! I cant believe I did that, I kinda feel bad about it now, not that the stupid toy is gone, but that the neighbor is going to find it and wonder where the crap it came from LOL! Well I gotta go and take Lex to school and sign forms for the psychologist to "evaluate" Jordan.. Wish me luck, and if any of you have any ideas on things that maybe I haven't tried before the medication, lemme know!!

A 2 day phenomenan

I know, your thinking, "2 days in a row?! Have you been home bound or duct-taped to your chair?!" Thankfully, I have not. I just realize that I really do need to be better about posting. So all three of you who read this will get more time on the computer ;).
I thought it was funny to share a view this morning. We all know that some sort of girl/boy programming is already in us when we are born, right? Meaning, there have been studies showing that even if a kid is raised in a completely gender free environment and then presented with certain gender specific toys such as a doll or truck, girls will almost always go to the doll and the boys to the truck. It's how your 2 year old son knows to use his bitty hand as an assault weapon even if he's never ever seen a gun in all his little life! Well today I witnessed something pretty funny. I am the neighborhood mom, my mom was the same way and I really don't know why this happens-maybe I need to be meaner or something...Anyways, all the neighborhood kids come to my house in the morning before school. This morning Chantelle and her friend Cheyanne were headed out the front door when I heard this little squelch and saw them both jump backwards a couple of feet and point at the door. "MOM!!!! There is a HUMONGOUS spider on the door!" Chantelle hollers. I, who never had issues with any bug or animal until I saw the blessed movie arachnophobia, jumped up to view this demon that would prevent me from going anywhere in the neighborhood of my front door for the rest of the day, when Tyler's best friend Colby says-very manly for a 12 year old-"lemme take a look at that". Without another word, he went into the bathroom, came back with a TINY square of tissue, and killed the beast. You could hear the crunch!! I thanked him profusely and the kids went on their way to school. So do you all think that spider-killing is an automatic gender programming cuz if not I really want to personally thank his father for programming him at such an early age to protect all womankind from the arachnids of this world, his wife will also be thankful!!
I forgot to share something that I was told about at the NICU the other night that was pretty dang hilarious. One of the charge nurses on labor and delivery was kind of swamped with all the ladies who had delivered or were near delivery. One of her patients who had already given birth kept pushing her call button and was seemingly impatient with the wait, so she went in as soon as she could. When she walked in the room, the girl immediately says "could you please burp me?!" and of course, the nurse looked at her with wide-eye bewilderment, and the girl says "I'm having trouble with some gas, could you just pat my back for a minute?" and she was completely SERIOUS!!! So the poor nurse who has no earthly idea what is appropriate in this kind of situation, obliges her and sure enough after a moment she burped, thanked her and the nurse walked out! Can you imagine?! All of thee nurses thought it was so hilarious, that one of them came in the next morning with this pretty wrapped present for the nurse. When she opened it, the whole floor erupted with laughter when they saw the HUGE burp cloth that had been made for her!!!!!
well I hope that all of you have a great day, I get to run errands and organize-yay me-try not to be jealous. I'll think of you!

Holy Long Time Batman!!

So it has been literally forever since I have updated this blog. I suck. I know that this has been established in other posts, but I had to reiterate it because of my laziness these last months. So, life has still gone on. I sometimes feel like nothing ever changes, so why bore y'all with the mundaneness of it? But, this morning I had to do the Heimlich maneuver on my 7 year old Jordan and it scared the pants off of me!! You know, you get think that when you get into that situation, your gut instincts kick in and all will be ok. Uh, yeah, if your not performing it on YOUR kid!! He had gotten one of Tim's butterscotch candies and inhaled it, apparently it lodged right smack in there blocking his airway, I had to do it three times to dislodge it. I am still shaking, nothing makes you realize the thin space that life and death occupies like watching your child turn colors and flop around. The ironic thing is that only he and Lexi are truly the only ones who ever scare the crap outta me. October is proof of this fact. It started with Lexi stepping on an old rusty nail outside, it went through her shoe then into her toe. It was pretty deep, so I treated it and took her in to the instacare on the advice of her Pede's office-apparently there are some weird issues with nails and kids feet that are too lengthy to get into, but they are scary. So she gets a tetanus shot, this is Wednesday. Saturday comes rolling along, cleaning his room (don't ask how or why this got into his room, he's a boy and collects "stuff") Jordan steps on a rusted safety pin the size of Texas, looking like an antique first edition of the safety pin mind you, so off we go to the instacare once again-same foot too. Wednesday comes rolling around, yeah take a deep breath, and the day is going well. Lexi has the chore of putting the clean dishes away from the dishwasher. I was in the playroom right next to the kitchen when about quarter to 5 all 5 kids start screaming hysterically. This happens often, you know what I mean, kids scream and fight and irritate eachother, so I didn't immediately jump up. Within seconds though I could sense something wasn't right and ran into the kitchen where the kids were pointing at Lexi who was dumbfounded in the middle of the all the kids, her arm hanging to her side, blood flowing nicely to the floor. Again, you imagine that all your logic and first aid common sense would kick in, and believe me, I have assisted at horrible car crashes with all of that intact in the appropriate moment. Not when it's your child. I rushed outside after holding her arm together with both of my hands screaming for help from my now scared to death neighbor. She of course, not having it be her child had all her smartness intact and was able to calm me down. Apparently what had happened-and let this be a lesson to all of you with plugged in kitchen aides or Bosch machines-she had been putting the mixer blade on the machine instead of in the drawer when it turned on. She hadn't finished clipping it on yet and in her mind that was dangerous, she said later that she was afraid it was going to fly off and hurt one of the other kids and she loves our family so much that she didn't want that to happen (that was one of my proudest mom moments and yes I discreetly bawled when she explained this to me), she said she would rather be hurt then have any of us cry. So in her 5 year old mind the best thing to do was stick her arms in the blades to prevent that. Her left arm got stuck between the blade and the wall of the mixer and it was explained that the pressure was so great that it basically split like a hotdog in the microwave, all the way down to the bone. meanwhile she had stuck her right arm through the "spokes" of the blade and it twisted that arm. They initially thought she had broken both arms and may require surgery. Thankfully it had missed the tendons, I got to watch her tendons moving when she moved her hand, that was kinda cool. She decided that we needed to have a family talk when we got home from the hospital, when I asked her what we needed to talk about she said "I think that some jobs are just grownup jobs and that kids cant do everything. And we should never plug that thing in until we use it" WOW, great insight, why the crap did her mom not think of leaving the "thing" unplugged until use?! So please leave them unplugged, it was a freak accident for sure but take heed nonetheless. She had 2 sprained arms and 30 stitches, and now is having some movement issues but other than that she's ok. So, where was I? Wednesday, you'd think that is enough child trauma to last years. Apparently not for us. Saturday comes rolling around, you guessed it, Jordans turn. Madisyn threw a play john deere tractor at his head and split it open. Back to the instacare...At this point I am seriously waiting for a knock on the door from DCFS!!! I got the choice between stitches or glue, we went for the glue baby. If anything, I can honestly say that my life with my kids is always a grand adventure full of expensive co pays and panic, hey, that could very well sum up motherhood!
I went to the NICU last night for parent support after a while away. I had forgotten how much I love that work, the girls are so great. And it's kinda nice to know that we are really helping to alleviate some of the stress that these parents go through while having a baby in the NICU. For anyone who hasn't had that experience, thank the stars, it's the most emotionally trying and draining thing in this world. The constant ups and downs and unknowns are insane. When Jordan was in the NICU (the first of 3) it felt like our world was ending. Being told that these incredible doctors who we rely on to know all, didn't know what was wrong with your baby and he could die does something to how you view everything. If you can imagine having your beating heart torn out of your chest as you watch, times that by a million and you can get a taste of it. You think about it and you wonder how this tiny thing that you just met can define your everything, how is it possible? I don't thing I'll ever understand the love between mother and child. This same little boy that I could have lost today, he has never stopped fighting. Sometimes I wish he wouldn't fight so damn hard everyday, but I chalk it up to his desire to be here. He is my "struggle" child, I am so thankful to have him and all my kids in my life no matter what though. Hug your kids today, remember those first few moments when your world was that child, it's so easy to forget those feelings when they are being defiant and disobedient! It's so easy to forget that when you are worrying about those things that you cant change, but when we figure out that love is all that matters in the long run, it can make those things seem so insignificant...
Ok, enough about that. I kinda hollered at Jordan after that was all over and gave him a lecture about sneaking hard candy. I should have hugged him and told him how much I love him and how important he is in my life instead..I need to apologize to my son now, I pray that I am never too proud to tell my kids I am sorry and that I messed up. I think I'll go make a card for him and take it to school...

"Crunchy Dancing"

My best friend since I was 7 years old came back to town from where she and her husband and 2 sons are living in Virginia Beach Virginia, doing foster care for troubled boys. It has been 3 years since I saw her briefly,, and even longer since I saw her husband Chris and their wonderful boys CJ and Mark. It has been so incredible visiting with them!! On Saturday we got together along with her sis Carrie and Carries hubby and decided to go out to eat and then go Country Dancing. We had a while to wait to eat so we spent some time in the electronic store next store and Della and Carrie schooled me in the art of "world of warcraft". We ate at Good Wood BBQ, the food was really awesome. I suggest the pulled pork =). We enjoyed some great conversation and debate as we watched the olympics they had playing on the large television, we mostly watched the womens volleyball, well beach volleyball. We were super stuffed afterwards!! We headed to the armory in Provo and caught the last 15 minutes or so of the instruction before the dance started. It was SOOO much fun!!! I have to say that a lot of the steps now elude me. See, Tim and I went EVERY weekend when we were engaged, newly married and really up until we got preggers with Ty. We were awesome back in the day, we even did lifts. Not so much anymore! Della made a good point about a lot of the steps being in the muscle memory though. There was a thunderstorm going on, they had all the doors open and these massive fans blowing to cool everyone off. The back doors led out to the provo skate park, ramps and tunnels and it was deserted, so Tim and I watched the lightening and felt the sprinkle of the small raindrops and danced all by ourselves on a ramp. It was really romantic!!
I did a couple of line dances, "boot-scoot'n'boogie" and "fireman", but all the others were newer than 13 years, so I didnt know how to do them. Tim and I sat those out and we had fun watching everyone else do them. We attempted to two-step and waltz, but mostly we just held eachother and mooched in the corner of the armory during slow songs =).. We also had a lot of fun analizing all the people who were there. This one guy was a freak, he only danced during the line dances, but he was doing way more than your average person. Those of you who dont know about line dancing, you learn the steps then you add your own pizazz and personality to them. Well, this guy was freaking out and doing the line dances on speed!! Then there was this other guy who was content looking at every female that walked through the door with hopeful eyes, but that was kinda the sad point, he looked desperate! I doubt he hooked up with anyone, poor guy LOL! At one point, Tim amd I were walking out onto the floor after taking a break and a guy grabbed my hand and about drug me out onto the floor before he realized I was already attached to somebody!
Carrie and her love got tired about 10:30 or so and had early church so they took off, but we stayed and danced the very last dance, then at midnight it was over. We had so much fun that we didnt want the night to end, so Tim, Chris, Della and I all hopped into the car and drove to Sonic for icecream. We ended up catching up and talking and laughing until about 2 a.m. when we decided we'd finally better go-we were afraid that Sonic was going to kick us off their benches!
Sunday we were invited to Della's parents house for a birthday celebration-Della turns 31 on the 14th. Chris used to work in a restaraunt and is a fabulous chef, he cooked her favorite meal, chicken carbonna I believe (?) with garlic toast, salad, pink and orange "fluffy stuff" and a really yummy punch. I made her wear a tiara and a boa I had brought as part of her gift, there were a lot of people there and it was a lot of fun. We stayed past 9 and the kids were really upset to leave because they had made some fun friends.
So that was our fun weekend. Thanks to Della and Chris for inviting us to hang out!! We had a blast and we cant wait to come and visit you guys in Virginia!

My month in a nutshell

Nearly a month to the date of my last post? Wow, I suck rocks and eat cheese! A lot has happened and I will write a short summary of the month-cuz it was amazingly crazy and cram packed!!!

July 4th: traditon holds this one. The boys sleep on the parade route the night before to "save" the great spot next to where the infamous subway restaraunt used to stand. Yes, all of you fellow bloggers who share the history of the subway on University Ave, it is no longer there. It has been de-railed forever...moment of silence.... ok, so the girls bring breakfast the next morning. This year we kinda threw out the tradition of slaving all night over breakfast choices and prep because, well I think we were feeling lazy this year. But guess what? EVERYONE STILL LIVED!!! so that one tradition might be SOL, which uh means, stupid old law.... So we were almost an hour late to the doggone parade because we couldnt find a spot that was close enough before we all paid out the wazoo to finally park. Dont ask what "wazoo" stands for cuz I really dont wanna say. The parade was ever so entertaining for us grown up folk, like always, I once again remember that I do this for my kids who I will never deprive of that deep seeded joy I convince myself they feel every year as the "parade planner executive" car passes by. Enough said about my issues. We instead of going to see the great boutiques set up nearby after the parade, go home and gloriously nap. Another tradition, go to the temple grounds to watch the wonderous display of fireworks that we could never in a million years afford to see in the actual stadium, and barbeque as we inadequetly watch over our children- praying they dont get abducted. Also skipped it. I know what you are thinking, whats wrong with us this year?! Well, I think I am getting oldre and in my oldnessism, I wanna say wiser-but I really think I am just getting lazier. So there you have it. We instead went to my sisters neighborhood where they had a great display of fireworks in what they joyfully refer to as "The Culdesac Of Fire", and t was awesome! Not only did we get to eat snacks all night as we watched great displays of firework glory off of step ladders, we didnt get stuck in traffic for 19 hours trying to get home. all in all I say it rocked!!

July 14th: Tim and Tylers birthday. A hot flippin day too. So what do you do on a hot summer day? Yu go swimming of course! Tyler had his party at the swimming pool, a group of 11 year oldish boys all together and swimming.. That will DEFINATELY tire them out for the sleepover later right? WRONG!!! There is a rule, that apparently I missed somewhere along the way, that says "hot sun and junk food and swimming all day will make boys hyper", I know this now and will never mistake it again. Those darn boys were up ALL night long! At some point during the night I decided if the house was gonna burn down, my detectors would alert me and that was that, I went to bed! I was a little bit mommish though, my firstborn turned 11 and I cant believe he is a few short years from teenagerhood, I am starting to be a bit terrified, but still nostalgic.

July 18-20: My sisters grandmother in law (got that?) owns a cabin up in Idaho, so we decided to have a family weekend up there. It really was incredible, no cell phone service, you could see the stars, and nobody died. We had 10 adults, and 14 kids-so thats an accomplishment. This was acres and acres of wonderous playland for the kids. There were cows to chase and prod with sticks, a small pond that almost swallowed a kid but only got away with a shoe, a massive fire pit/amphitheatre, huge outdoor eating area, 3 outhouses (there was indoor plumbing too, but the outhouses were really cool), hiking areas galore. We celebrated my brothers daughter turning 4 on the 17th and my baby turning 4 on the 19th, again I have to say that I was a freaky nostalgia queen-if only to myself. I cant believe that my Madisyn is no longer my baby, she's growing up..You always know thats going to happen, but it is tough when it does. We had a birthday party complete with icecream that didnt fare so well in the messed up freezer, cupcakes we made in these cute star shaped cupcake holders, and birthday hats. The older kids slept out in a tent and I never thought once about a wildly mad psychotic crazed mountain man coming to murder them. So it was a sucessful trip!

July 21: Tim and I could say we made it through 13 years of marriage! We decided to celebrate the following weekend because Tim gets up at 4 am to work and we wanted to stay up late if ya know what I mean. So Christi and Melissa and I went to see Colbi Collet and John Mayer play up in Salt lake city. It was an outside theatre and it was very warm out. We had so much fun though! We were dancing and being ridiculous, but we didnt care. At one point, a couple behind us asked how it was we were having so much fun-the most fun out of anyone there they could see they said-when we hadnt had anything to drink, and they hadnt seen us smoking anything good!! That was pretty funny. We got stuck in traffic getting out and while waiting I suggested we do chinese fire drill. Sounds harmless you say? Well Melissa and I collided into one another in the front of the car, and I still bear a bruise on my right arm!

July 26: I turned 31. I know, ancient huh?! Tim took me out to lunch, then to get my nails done which was exactly what I had asked for. I used to love getting my nails done, its a luxury of the past now-they dont stay as pretty as long when you're making mud pies, ya know? After that we packed for an overnighter at a Hotel in Salt Lake. Thank you to all you family members who took our 5 kids, you are SAINTS!!! It was wonderful.....Need I say anymore? We reminissed about all the years we have been together. We've actually known eachother for 16 years and we were highschool sweethearts. Those of you who are doing the calculations on my age and then the number of years we have been married will indeed discover that I was 17 when we tied the knot, but only for 5 days. Yes, my momma had to sign for me to get married!! I could have never calculated in all my life, that my love for this man could get any deeper or better than that day we committed ourselves to one another. But it has increased at least a thousand fold. Sometimes I look at newlyweds and think, man, that would suck to be there again! I know what lies ahead, and its been a great ride.. I look forward to the rest of my life!

July 31-August 3rd: Melissa and Alan invited us to go down to lake powell and stay on her dads houseboat! I am still freshly burned and almost done recooperating. This was the most fun we have had in I dont even know when! Thanks to my mom and Meredith for watching the kids while we spent time here. Christi and Nathan came as well, we all traveled down together in a borrowed van. Traveling is much more relaxing without kids! The first night we were there we got settled in and decided to kinda dress up and go out to eat in page AZ which was literally up the road. After reading off a bunch of restaraunts we decided on one called "the mandarin cafe" I tell you this so you may heed the warning of this cautionary tale. It was a chinese food buffet, after being led to our table our waitress, who you can assume was asian, spoke to us. "you can go pay" she said. Well we had just been seated, that was weird! we all stood up, looked at one another and asked "huh?" she repeated herself 2 or 3 more times before we realized she ws saying " you go eat buffet" and we were al nearly in hysterics by this point. The food sucked, the service was no good and it was like 30 bucks a couple! We tried warning a family going in that it was no good, but they were tourists from Germany and I guess we could have sounded like we were saying "that foods so good" cultural differences, what you gonna do?! We got our groceries and then headed back to the houseboat. If anyone has been to Lake Powell this time of year, you kn0ow its HOT!!!! We immediately got into our swimsuits where we actually stayed the entire trip, even sleeping in them. A couple people went for a swim off the house boat when this duck comes out of nowheer and proceeds to seem like its going to attack Nathan! The thing, which I lovingly named "quackers", would not stop charging, so the swim was cut short. We found out the next day that the duck just loved swimming with peple, it would swim behind you then turn and have you follow it, it was bizzare! We started a game of phase 10 but stopped midway because we were all exhausted. The next day we picked up the speed boat at 8 am. We spent the day going out on the lake. The first spot we went to was awesome, it had this natural jetty like thig tu could swim out to-the water being over 80 degrees-and the girls and I had a blast breaking off pieces of this natural sanbar and "making sand", we even got enough to make a sand castle atop this huge rock in the lake. The boys fished the whole tie there. We then ate lunch and went to another location that was more rock. The layering in the rock was absolutely amazing. The boys fished, and christi as well. Melissa and I swam off on our rafts to investigate this little "island rock" a bit away. We found there was a perfect divot in it where we could place our foats and kinda be submerged in water and be lying down. We both got fried after a bit and decided to cool off after a massive wave shoved melissa out of the divot into the lake! As we got closer to the boat, I saw something in the water that kinda looked like a 5 dollar bill. I commented to melissa that that would be cool if we found 5 bucks, we could be so lucky to find a treasure! She thought it looked like a bottle, a message in a bottle, so now we HAD to get it up! Bless Nathans heart, he tried tirelessly for like 15 minues to get that thing to a spot he could dive to and show us who was right. He gave it his all with the boat oar when christi finally tired of our antics and dove for the thing. What was it you ask?! An old Budweiser can filled with lake muck!!! That was our treasure, but it was fun anyhow! We went home, made dinner and played a few more hands of our phase 10 game, Tim and I tied with 2 phases left when we quit again for the night. The next day we went out again on the speed boat. We first went through this amazing canyon ride. Let me just tell you, you realize the awesomeness of the world through this ride, the rock creations and the colors, the water, its almost too much totake in! Then we went to another beach spot that had a red sand beach. I collected clam shells wih beautiful pink and purple hues. We swam in HOT lagoons with aaqua water. Small sunfish swam right to us as we sat there on natural rock chairs. It was so much fun!!! It started to get choppy though and we headed back early, but not before Alan discovered how to "spray"the boat with cold water on the way back! We ate dinner, then swam in the lake with quackers, then fished. Yep, I caught a catfish! I wont tell you that christi caught like a million of themm and even hooked a massive 15 pound carp. cuz that would make my one look stupid ya know... Melissa and I decided that we couldnt leave without making someone elses day when they found a "message in a bottle". So Sobe bottle in tow, and wonderous words of wisdom, we set our bottle free off the end of the dock. In ten years we will see if the finders have followed our instructions about the words of wisdom and return them to us. Hey, Alan, you never know!! LOL! We all slept kinda fitfully as we were all burned crisply, and morning came too soon. We packed up and cleaned the boat, waved a sad farewell wave to quackers and headed home. We got home last night around 6, and reality started again...

So there is your update. Jordan turned 7 on the 1st while we were gone, so we havent done his birthday yet, but we will and I will update you on that one. Thanks for reading, please excuse the million typos I know were in here, it took me almost 2 hours to write, and its now well after midnight. I'll try to write more often, school is about to start and some normalcy will again be practiced!! Love to y'all Holly

new chapters

So, our weight loss contest has been over for a month! It doesnt seem possible to me. The year is more than half over already and the kids go back to school next month. How time flies! I reached my weight loss goals and can actually say that I am very proud of myself. I have slacked off of the exercizing which is very bad I know, and Tim and I keep saying we will go back tomorrow-tomorrow isnt coming! I will get back at some point, I gotta! I don't wanna end up back where I was..

So whereas I still hope to be able to give and get support from all everyone regarding our health and our weightloss, I have an inkling that this will become more of a normal blog on my life in general. I will not pronise anything specacular or even remotely insightfull, in fact it may be downright boring. But this is my life, so be it!

I wont promise to post everyday, it just wont happen! But I hope you read it anyways....

hello all!

Hello ladies,
This week has just flown by! I cant believe that it's already Friday. Today my oldest daughter Telle, said that she was excited to only have 9 days of school left after today. HOLY CRAP!!! Is it seriously that close to chaos now?! I love, and also hate summer. I love that I get to spend more time with my kids, and I hate that I get to spend so much time with my kids. Ok, LOl, that came out wrong I think! I dont hate spending time with them, it's just that I am such a protective mama and I need to learn how to let go a little and let my kids spread their wings. If I could learn how to do that, there would not be so much whining and asking constantly to do this and that with him or her and ladi dadi doo. Enough of that rant!

So I was eating funky flavored taffy last night courtesty of mr. T. and I was scamming the headlines when I came across a picture that made my heart sink. The earthquake that hit China on Monday has been well journalized. This picture was of a mother cradling her son after he was pulled dead from the rubble of his elementary school. The launguage of a mothers love is universal, it transcends all language barriers and continents, the anguish and sorrow in this mothers face documented in the form of a simple picture left me speachless. Tim and I had been joking and laughing only moments before and now I was transfixed looking at picture after picture of this country literally devistated by this. Parents cleaning their childrens hands sacredly before they were buried in mass graves to avoid decomp problems, a wife lying down beside her dead husband in the street refusing to let him be moved, can you imagine yourself faced with such horror-could you let your child go? I think my child would have to be torn from my arms...There was a story about a teenage girl who was trapped so horribly that both her legs had to be amputated before she could be moved and she was one of the lucky ones.. They go on and on and make you heartsick. My kids saw me a horrible mess after Katrina, I bawled for days feeling so helpless and had I had the opportunity I would have given the clothes off my back! I don't know about anyone else, but it makes me feel helpless and sad, and desperate, and more grateful then I can ever express. It also makes me think that no matter what, each day is a gift with those we care about and love, we could have an earthquake here tomorrow, where would our babies and husbands be? What would we give to hold them one more time, to tell them that we love them, to take back something we said or did? I pray for all those who are affected by tradgedy in their live, whether its out there for the world to view or personal. It makes griping about gas prices and having kids home for summer break just downright assanine. Well, enough depressing y'all for one day!

So good luck to Melissa tomorrow running the 5K at Thanksgiving Point. Kick butt girl, and thanks for hanging out with me yesterday, it was a lot of fun! I have the NICU reunion tomorrow which should be fun. It's always so awesome to see all the babies now growing so big and doing so awesome!

I hope everyone else is doing ok. Keep your chins up and keep on keepin' on LOL!