Holy Long Time Batman!!

So it has been literally forever since I have updated this blog. I suck. I know that this has been established in other posts, but I had to reiterate it because of my laziness these last months. So, life has still gone on. I sometimes feel like nothing ever changes, so why bore y'all with the mundaneness of it? But, this morning I had to do the Heimlich maneuver on my 7 year old Jordan and it scared the pants off of me!! You know, you get think that when you get into that situation, your gut instincts kick in and all will be ok. Uh, yeah, if your not performing it on YOUR kid!! He had gotten one of Tim's butterscotch candies and inhaled it, apparently it lodged right smack in there blocking his airway, I had to do it three times to dislodge it. I am still shaking, nothing makes you realize the thin space that life and death occupies like watching your child turn colors and flop around. The ironic thing is that only he and Lexi are truly the only ones who ever scare the crap outta me. October is proof of this fact. It started with Lexi stepping on an old rusty nail outside, it went through her shoe then into her toe. It was pretty deep, so I treated it and took her in to the instacare on the advice of her Pede's office-apparently there are some weird issues with nails and kids feet that are too lengthy to get into, but they are scary. So she gets a tetanus shot, this is Wednesday. Saturday comes rolling along, cleaning his room (don't ask how or why this got into his room, he's a boy and collects "stuff") Jordan steps on a rusted safety pin the size of Texas, looking like an antique first edition of the safety pin mind you, so off we go to the instacare once again-same foot too. Wednesday comes rolling around, yeah take a deep breath, and the day is going well. Lexi has the chore of putting the clean dishes away from the dishwasher. I was in the playroom right next to the kitchen when about quarter to 5 all 5 kids start screaming hysterically. This happens often, you know what I mean, kids scream and fight and irritate eachother, so I didn't immediately jump up. Within seconds though I could sense something wasn't right and ran into the kitchen where the kids were pointing at Lexi who was dumbfounded in the middle of the all the kids, her arm hanging to her side, blood flowing nicely to the floor. Again, you imagine that all your logic and first aid common sense would kick in, and believe me, I have assisted at horrible car crashes with all of that intact in the appropriate moment. Not when it's your child. I rushed outside after holding her arm together with both of my hands screaming for help from my now scared to death neighbor. She of course, not having it be her child had all her smartness intact and was able to calm me down. Apparently what had happened-and let this be a lesson to all of you with plugged in kitchen aides or Bosch machines-she had been putting the mixer blade on the machine instead of in the drawer when it turned on. She hadn't finished clipping it on yet and in her mind that was dangerous, she said later that she was afraid it was going to fly off and hurt one of the other kids and she loves our family so much that she didn't want that to happen (that was one of my proudest mom moments and yes I discreetly bawled when she explained this to me), she said she would rather be hurt then have any of us cry. So in her 5 year old mind the best thing to do was stick her arms in the blades to prevent that. Her left arm got stuck between the blade and the wall of the mixer and it was explained that the pressure was so great that it basically split like a hotdog in the microwave, all the way down to the bone. meanwhile she had stuck her right arm through the "spokes" of the blade and it twisted that arm. They initially thought she had broken both arms and may require surgery. Thankfully it had missed the tendons, I got to watch her tendons moving when she moved her hand, that was kinda cool. She decided that we needed to have a family talk when we got home from the hospital, when I asked her what we needed to talk about she said "I think that some jobs are just grownup jobs and that kids cant do everything. And we should never plug that thing in until we use it" WOW, great insight, why the crap did her mom not think of leaving the "thing" unplugged until use?! So please leave them unplugged, it was a freak accident for sure but take heed nonetheless. She had 2 sprained arms and 30 stitches, and now is having some movement issues but other than that she's ok. So, where was I? Wednesday, you'd think that is enough child trauma to last years. Apparently not for us. Saturday comes rolling around, you guessed it, Jordans turn. Madisyn threw a play john deere tractor at his head and split it open. Back to the instacare...At this point I am seriously waiting for a knock on the door from DCFS!!! I got the choice between stitches or glue, we went for the glue baby. If anything, I can honestly say that my life with my kids is always a grand adventure full of expensive co pays and panic, hey, that could very well sum up motherhood!
I went to the NICU last night for parent support after a while away. I had forgotten how much I love that work, the girls are so great. And it's kinda nice to know that we are really helping to alleviate some of the stress that these parents go through while having a baby in the NICU. For anyone who hasn't had that experience, thank the stars, it's the most emotionally trying and draining thing in this world. The constant ups and downs and unknowns are insane. When Jordan was in the NICU (the first of 3) it felt like our world was ending. Being told that these incredible doctors who we rely on to know all, didn't know what was wrong with your baby and he could die does something to how you view everything. If you can imagine having your beating heart torn out of your chest as you watch, times that by a million and you can get a taste of it. You think about it and you wonder how this tiny thing that you just met can define your everything, how is it possible? I don't thing I'll ever understand the love between mother and child. This same little boy that I could have lost today, he has never stopped fighting. Sometimes I wish he wouldn't fight so damn hard everyday, but I chalk it up to his desire to be here. He is my "struggle" child, I am so thankful to have him and all my kids in my life no matter what though. Hug your kids today, remember those first few moments when your world was that child, it's so easy to forget those feelings when they are being defiant and disobedient! It's so easy to forget that when you are worrying about those things that you cant change, but when we figure out that love is all that matters in the long run, it can make those things seem so insignificant...
Ok, enough about that. I kinda hollered at Jordan after that was all over and gave him a lecture about sneaking hard candy. I should have hugged him and told him how much I love him and how important he is in my life instead..I need to apologize to my son now, I pray that I am never too proud to tell my kids I am sorry and that I messed up. I think I'll go make a card for him and take it to school...