Holly's Hobbies

Not much to say

2009-02-15T11:42:00.002-07:00

ROTFL I just have to say that I saw the funniest movie recently. I have not laughed so hard in so long, and it was totally what I needed. We went to the good ole' dollar movies and saw "Yes Man", with Jim Carrey. I thought initially it would be somewhat like his movie "liar, liar" because it seemed like somewhat of the same concept. It wasn't though! If any of you have not seen it, I am still laughing about this part, and it made me think of a lot of you girls who met on the photography boards. There's this girl who is kinda kooky, and she starts this group called Jogging Photography! She says it's to get exercise while taking pictures LOL!!! She admits that yes, there's not much want for blurry photos, and Jim's character says " But anyone can take a picture standing still"! So, I throw out a challenge to y'all who are photogs. Try it, see how you do taking a picture that's great while jogging!

I also came across something in a readers digest magazine the other day. I haven't tried this, because it's not something I think would come out very cute for myself. But for some of you who want some extra motivation go to www.weightview.com you upload a current picture of yourself and it will show you what your body will look like 20 lbs lighter. Who knows, could be fun!

I hope everyone is doing well. keep the positive outlooks...

Hmm...

2009-02-06T09:41:00.002-07:00

well, one month down. Congrats to Karilynn, hon you deserve it!!! Thanks to all of you who said nice things about my photos, too bad I don't see even a bit of difference. I lost 7lbs and over 8 inches, 5 being in my thighs, but other than my clothes feeling a bit different, I feel the same...

Onto something more exciting, my son Ty who is in 6th grade took first place at his schools science fair yesterday!! He gets to go onto regional which will be next month. I was the proudest mama there ever was yesterday, I was actually jumping up and down and screaming when he called me from school to tell me the news. Only 6 projects out of hundreds made the cut so to speak, and he took first! Thanks for letting me brag on him for a minute ;).

Good job to all of you girls who have worked so hard. Look at the total combined weight we have lost, that in itself is so amazing! We should try to get a local business to match pound to dollar each one we lose and then donate it to a really great cause at the end, like breast cancer or something. I hope to see more of you this month for our girls night!

weigh In

2009-02-05T10:55:00.003-07:00

Hey ladies! I have been out of posting mode for a bit, and I apologize. I weighed in this morning and am happy to say that I have lost all the weight I aimed for except for 1/2 a pound, which means I lost 7 1/2 pounds. I am happy with the weight loss, I am happier though about noticing a difference in my clothes fitting. I am still going for the inches to come off, I will have pictures and mesaurements up hopefully today :). All of you have been such an inspiration and I am so proud of y'all! I hope that we all keep the support and knowledge sharing as we continue to be the best we can each day. I know it has been a struggle for us, the first month always is-think of it like a training period for our bodies. Keep up the good work ladies!

Here’s how it works–the first 4 people to leave a comment on this post will receive, at some point during the year, a handmade gift from me. What it will be and when it will arrive is a total surprise!
The catch is that you must participate as well–before you leave your comment here, write up a pay it forward post on your blog to keep the fun going. Then come back, let me know you’re going to play, and sit back and anticipate the arrival of your gift! Remember that only the first 4 comments will recieve a gift from me, so be quick!

same old same

2009-01-26T11:07:00.002-07:00

Weigh in today, no change..I think we all kinda feel like we are stuck. It's easy to get frustrated and wanna give up! We all need to remember that this is a journey, every week is not going to be sucessful. If it were so easy, we wouldn't all be at the point we are at! I hope everyone can continue to keep a positive attitude and support one another. Here's to a great week!!!

You guys Rock!

2009-01-23T17:24:00.002-07:00

Ladies,
Thanks so much for all of your great words and support. I am so over what my lovely daughter told me yesterday. I think I was already frustrated because I have been an emotional wreck the last week or so. I had to have a hysterectomy a few years ago (at age 27) and was "fortunate" enough to have one ovary left. I was told it would save me form hormone replacement therapy in the long run, I thought putting up with the continual ovarian cysts, extreme belly pain and ovulation from hell would be worth it to avoid hormones. But the last month I have started having massive hot flashes like right after the surgery, I have horrid insomnia on top of my girls having night terrors so it feels like I am half asleep all day. Then there's my hormones!! I am irrational and emotional and I internally pick on myself all day. That's why I was so excited to do this, I know y'all look at me and wonder why I would want to lose weight. Really, I don't care about losing the weight! I really just want to re-train my brain to think rationally about loving myself before I drive myself and my poor husband crazy. I want to also be healthy, aerobically I am nearly dead. I would guarantee any one of you ladies could kick my butt aerobically, I know that its important to change that to make my organs healthier. I also have wanted to tone up for years. Having babies changes our bodies. We basically sacrifice ourselves for them from the moment of conception!! Thank your mothers ladies, they did the same for us. So, when Lexi said that it took me by surprise and it kinda stung. I know that my arms aren't that bad, but it is an area I do want to work on. If anyone has any great arm workouts, I would appreciate your input! And thank you so much again for your support, it means so much to me!!

I'm depressed.....

2009-01-22T18:59:00.002-07:00

So, I'm sitting on the couch a few minutes ago. I'm bummin' around in my "dont pollute my planet" T-shirt cuz all I've been doing is cleaning the house. Lexi, my next-week-will-be-six-year-old daugter comes and sits down beside me and starts playing with my arm. Right as I go to flex for her she says "momma, your arms are all flabby!" I almost started to cry!!! Tim piped up and was like "lexi, that was really rude and you need to apologize to your mother. You don't say things like that" But honestly, it was the truth coming out of a very observant little girl who was not trying to hurt my feelings, she doesn't make things better than they are either by trying to flatter. I guess I need to first, teach her some tact, and then get a really good exercise to tone them up.... =(

A Good Idea?

2009-01-19T17:08:00.002-07:00

So, this may seem really random, but I know that a lot of us are eating the Yoplait light yogurts. They have a promotion going on right now called the pound for pound challenge. Each lid that is saved and sent in to yoplait is worth 10 cents towards fighting hunger in America. I have at least a dozen, but I was thinking that if we all saved them and collected them to send in, we could help make a difference for someone who needs it out there. The economy has hit a lot of families and the news is filled with people who are struggling. Just a thought because I know that we look at those lids and think "my 12 wont make that much of a difference, why bother" and we really could make a difference if we all did it. Lemme know what you think, I will send them in myself regardless but it would be nice to possibly change someone elses circumstances in life while we change ours =).

A Better Week

2009-01-19T09:25:00.002-07:00

I'll start out saying, that last week sucked in my eating. I will confess, right now, that I ate spoonfulls of chocolate chip cookie dough-from the tub-on Saturday night as I watched "The Women". I do hope that it was not as bad as the scene in said movie where Meg Ryan eats a stick of butter by dipping it into cocoa and sugar, but alas I do not know! I did pay for this dearly as my stomach was not happy with me. I suffered belly pain all night! Also, while confessions are out there, those of us who were there for Fridays "class" (LOL) were somewhat convinced by our waitresses declaration at IHOP that we could order whatever we wanted, why? She said it was "Fat Free Friday", and that we were so lucky it was not tomorrow when it would be "super Saturated Saturday" whereas the calories were extra fattening. Yes, we indeed grasped onto this futile straw of nonsense!! She let us in on the fact that we did actually believe, each IHOP pancake has 20 grams of fat and over 200 calories, that's not counting the butter and syrup we slather on them!! Can you believe that?

So here we are a new week. I swear last time we did this, I was more in tune with what I needed to be doing. I feel like I am letting myself down, I know what to do and I am being lazy. I weighed myself today, and despite the crap I fed into my body last week, I lost over a pound. I only have 3 pounds left, but a lot of inches. The weight hasn't been so much of an issue this time, but I m going to start measuring every week and judge my work from that. I bought some little 2lb weight balls, kind of like medicine balls, but they are used in toning exercises I found in Shape Magazine. These exercises kick my butt-hopefully they'll shrink my butt as well LOL!

So the kids have been home from school for 4 days, my kindergartner 5 days. I am ready for school to be back into session. I think that as moms its easier for us to justify our actions of not taking care of ourselves when we give ourselves the excuse of "the kids come first". Obviously this is a skill we have to learn. I have 5 kids. Before kids, I reveled in exercise. I would go to work, salivating at the thought of running. It was not work for me! My 5 miles a day would pass sometimes too quickly. I loved the feel of the pavement as I took each step, pounding away the "stress" I thought I had back then. A couple years after marriage when I got pregnant with our first, I had morning sickness so bad that it was all I could do to walk, let alone run anymore. I had morning sickness with every child until they came into this world, seriously I would still be puking as I pushed. I used to joke that Pregnancy was my form of diet because I would drop 20 pounds or so every time and then come home weighing less than before I actually got pregnant. I figured it out the other day that for the 13 and a half years I have been married, I was pregnant or nursing babies for a decade of that. Why I couldn't figure out how to take care of this body during that time is easy, everyone else came first. I wanna figure out how to be healthy and take care of myself this time around. We can all do it, and those of you who are just starting to have kids please take this heed from me-don't ignore yourselves because you feel that everyone else should come first. If you don't take care of you, you cant be as efficient in any other area of your life. That's a regret for me, wondering how much better I could have been as a mom and wife had I just taken a time out.

This week I am wanting to be sure to do my whole toning routine, and eat better. I will attempt to drink half my body weight in water every day and post every couple days. I hope y'all are doing well!!

First week down!

2009-01-14T13:32:00.002-07:00

So our first week flew by! It was a lot harder than I remember last year being.. I think it has something to do with the fact that I must've gotten really lax! Last week I concentrated on helping some ladies get their blogs up and running, and giving crash courses in the basics of weight watcher points, and getting my points down. I started exercising at the gym this week, tonight will be day three. I have actually enjoyed that part! I have been going with my Aunt Patti, who is doing this with us, Aunt Patti, I am so impressed with your determination and dedication to this process-props to you!!!

I am hoping that through this process, I can tone up my body and "reward" it for all of its hard work its done for me through the years. I am tired of being tired. Carrie and I have talked about how we really dont want to do this again. 2 years in a row for petes sake, isn't 2 years in a row, one year total out of 2 when we are done this time, thats a lot of time trying to get it right. I hope that I can raise my metabolism, and start LOVING exercising like I used too so that this processs is just a part of my every day life.

Melissa and I chatted the other day about the 5k and how great it was, and how it would be really fun to do it again this year. Last time I had gotten food poisoning the night before. I had to stop three times on the route to puke, but I was going to run and finish it if it killed me! It was a good feeling afterwards, and I think it would be fun again this year, anyone up for it?

I also think we should do another food swap. I loved having lunches ready, and knowing I had a great variety to choose from. Anyone up for that?

My goals for this week are to keep up the exercise, keep positive and try to post more!! Over 2 lbs down, not many more to go, but I really want to lose some inches. Keep up the good work ladies, I am rooting for all of you!!

2009-01-07T15:34:00.002-07:00

The other day as friend and I were chatting back and forth (texting), She got down on herself as I often do. She made an offhanded comment about her beauty, and all the extra things on her body that didn't used to be there. I have self esteem issues and in doing this contest I hope to just learn to love myself, accept the parts of me I will never change. How to do that? I have no clue. I am on a journey! However, I texted this to her, and I really meant it. I think it applies to us all!!

"We all have stretch marks, some surgery scars, and skin that will never be the same..I think that getting to the point where we realize that all of those things are always going to be a part of us, a part of the story we tell on having babies, health problems and putting others first, part of our life's journey. And more importantly, we need to figure out how to love ourselves because of and in spite of them. That, that would be the best reward I could think of...We are all beautiful, and we all have battle scars. Our husbands love us regardless of how "imperfect" we think our bodies are, we should be able to as well!!!"

I really do hope that we can all learn that beauty does not define who we are, perfection in these bodies is NEVER going to happen and to constantly be seeking it at all cost is irresponsible and the damage could be irreversible. I am so glad to be on this "journey" With all of you. No matter what we accomplish along the way to losing weight, I really hope we can all gain a respect and love for our bodies, for the women we are not only on the outside, but the inside..

2009-01-06T16:57:00.005-07:00

ok ladies! So last year I regretted not taking monthly pictures of myself. Melissa and Tammy were awesome about it, and it was really amazing to see the transformation that took place, in all the photographic glory LOL! So here I am, for all to see, every bump, flaw and imperfection!! I hope that this will be great for me to see the areas I really want to work on, and the improvements that I have made as time goes by. Hard work DOES pay off, so although I am scared for y'all to see this, I am also ecstatic to begin this journey!!

Start Of BL 2009

2009-01-01T11:03:00.003-07:00

So, I cannot believe the year has flown by so darn fast! I have had this blog for a year... It really seems like just yesterday that we decided to get together to lose weight and become healthier women together. I have sucked at times with my posts, but through this last year I want to let you all know that your support, and your sharing of your lives has been so wonderful. Going to some of your blogs on days left me crying as my heart hurt with each of you as you struggled, other days when I felt like I couldn't get any lower you left me crying again, with laughter! And here we are again, a new year facing each of us. I am so thankful that we will be able to do it again together. I have formed great friendships, strengthened others and found a passion once again that I thought was lost forever, myself.
I have been struggling of late on body issues, so this has come at the perfect time for me. I need your support in seeing myself through true eyes that are not clouded with self doubt. I am so firm in my belief that we need to instill the gift of self love to our kids, especially our daughters. I am so grateful for Dove's Campaign For Real Beauty, they have an incredible site with teaching tools, discussion boards and videos. Today as I was getting online and an ad popped up for this campaign, my older kids were hanging on me like they often do and I saw a teaching moment. I explained to my kids that the world is filled with images that are beautiful, but a lot of those images are distorted and computer generated. I told my oldest daughter Chantelle (9) that she has to be careful not to compare herself, or try to be like these women. I told my oldest son Tyler (11) that he has to never compare real women to these ads, that he needs to always respect a woman for who she is and never based on how she looks compared to any ad. He said "mom, I already know that. Those women are all fakey, all it is is make-up, wigs and dumb stuff like that" Yay, if he can only keep that view and not be bombarded with all that "fakey" beauty that's so seductive, that we as grown women who know its not real still crave it and put these expectations on ourselves. I showed them the video of the women who is ordinary and beautiful, and what they do to her to make her look "perfect". Chantelle wondered what was wrong with her to begin with, and why they would need to cover up her freckles and shave parts of her at the end, like her neck and why they changed her eyes. Yeah, why?! They had another video, and this is the one I wanted to share, it's self explanatory and it goes along with a bumper sticker I saw the other day when I was having serious put down thoughts. It read "Don't Believe Everything You Think", and I am sure it meant something completely different, but it smacked me in the face and made me realize that yeah, I cant believe everything I think about myself. OK, here's the link: www.campaignforrealbeauty.com you may need to copy and paste, but take the time to watch it, its only 1 minute long. It's the dove film called "Amy", and take a moment to start a conversation with your daughters, no matter how old they are. Be so careful with how you talk about yourselves, lets try to raise our daughters, and sons, in a world where they don't have to kill themselves to be beautiful. Lets teach our sons to respect women for true, real beauty not the distorted beauty facing them every way they turn, and how to truly know the difference...

Silly kids

2008-12-04T13:09:00.003-07:00

My kids, or rather my two little ones, have been cracking me up the last few days. Yesterday Maddi (4) Woke up grumpier than all get out. Exasperated I looked at Lexi and said "man, she didn't wake up on the right side of the bed!" And Lexi looked at me and said " actually mom, I had a bad dream and so I climbed in bed with her and she really did sleep on the right side of the bed cuz I didn't wanna be squished." LOL!! Then today we were running errands. It's a vague rule of ours to not allow toys in the car because well, they just stay there. But today Maddi was playing and talking and feeding her baby doll and it was so sweet that I couldn't resist when she said that if she didn't take her, the baby would certainly cry and be really loud. We even took the baby in the store, and she insisted it be strapped into the seat and all. As we were leaving the store we had to cross a small strip of road, my kids have a healthy respect for streets in general and have heard "take my finger or I take your hand" more times than even I can count. But she insisted that she had to hold her baby's hand so Lexi and I walked ever slowly, apparently not slowly enough because out of nowhere Maddi yells "come on people, slow it down!! We have little legs here!" I laughed the whole way home.. I just love it when kids are so astute and state the complete obvious that sometimes we as adults forget. Not long ago Jordan who was six at the time did just that. We had been traveling down the highway when I spotted a jet way up in the perfectly clear blue sky, it was so high up there it was almost a speck. I told all the kids to look out their windows and tell me what they saw. Jordan spotted it right away, and off we went on a discussion of how airplanes worked and such when he asked a very good question. "Do people actually ride in those mom?" "well, yeah they do" and he says, "mom, they must be really tiny people!" My favorite has to be from a couple of years ago though, when Lexi was 3. It was a few weeks from Halloween and we were again riding in the car having discussions as we often do. I asked all the kids what their final choice for Halloween costumes were, as a rule they have to decide a few weeks before because I am not changing from a dinosaur to a monkey trainer again, just aint happening. So all of the kids go off naming their choices, Lexi had been pretty consistant with princess and so I wasn't surprised when that was what she rattled off. "mom, what are you going to be for Halloween-are you going to be a pretty princess too?" she asked. I was thinking "awww, how sweet that she thinks of me as a princess". I said "oh, well I don't think I can be as pretty of a princess as you honey" and she comes back with "well you could be pretty if ya really wanted to, you just gotta put a lot of makeup on mom" well, ok then!
Have a great day!

BIG RANT-letter to a meth addict

2008-11-18T22:39:00.005-07:00

You found out you were pregnant, maybe you know who the father is, probably not, because you were most likely high. You may not have even known you were pregnant for a few months, meth has taken over your life. Choices that may seem logical to everyone else, make no sense to you whatsoever. But I ask you this: WHAT THE CRAP!! Why, I ask, WHY are you getting pregnant if you are a drug addict?! I get that you have issues, you cant stop from doing your drug, but I beg of you, don't involve an innocent baby in your freakin' game! You've probably lost every person in your life who meant anything to you because of your lifestyle, you've stolen from them to support your habit, pushed them away when they try to get you help, who is going to be there for you when your addict baby finally comes home with you? Are you prepared for what an addicted baby is like? You cant touch him, because every time he senses your touch, it's like a million needles are piercing his skin. He will cry nearly 24 hours a day, never sleeping because he is craving that fix, you think your withdrawl is bad?! Your son will have morphine to help him, but even that doesn't ease his AGONY. He will cry non stop. You will have to keep him in a dark room because any light pierces to his brain. A whisper can feel like he's up against a speaker at a rock concert. He will refuse to eat. He will lose weight. He will constantly kick his arms and legs, he will turn purple from screaming non-stop. Can you handle that? Knowing that YOU MADE A CHOICE TO DO THIS TO YOUR CHILD, you didn't give a crap about what it would do, you just needed that high. You stayed long enough to check him in, and then before I could come talk to you again, you were gone..If you think I am being to harsh, think again, I am being kind. I see these babies, more and more coming in, and I feel a different person emerging from within myself. I try to have compassion for everyone, their circumstances, but when I see these babies-yours was somehow full term, most are much earlier, sometimes the size of a dollar bill-my heart hurts. I look at the little boy a few beds down whose parents get told that he has to go home to die, they wanted him so badly. They struggled with infertility only to have the cruel draw of having a baby that is too sick, he cant be saved. Whats wrong with you?! Get help. Change your life. Change the cycle that you have started. Live your life for your son, be the mom that HE always wanted, it's his right to live a full and happy life. If you cant get help, if your drug is just too powerful, give him the next best thing-give him up...

Ok, I feel better for the moment. I cant even tell you guys what its like to see these babies in the NICU. It's probably the thing that pisses me off the very most. It's a preventable issue, some of these moms cannot help having their babies 3 and 4 months early, they do everything in their power to try to have a healthy baby, and still nature decides otherwise. Then we get the girls who have done some drug the entire pregnancy, never seeing a doctor, normally a teenager, and they just don't give a crap. I am not lumping every case into this stereotype, we have had a few moms "get" it, but most don't and I thank God that most get taken into states custody and at least have a chance. But we had this one baby who was in there forever, he would get better, through his withdrawl, and then suddenly he would start all over again. The mom swore she was clean, said she had been for a few weeks before the baby was born. She was pumping for the babies feedings, well finally her breast milk was tested, she was not clean. So here we were, working on getting the drugs out of his system and she was feeding it back into him every 2 hours! And you know what the worst part was? As a "breastfeeding" hospital, there was no cause for intervening, we couldn't say or do anything about it. If you have never seen a baby who is addicted, it is the saddest and most infuriating thing EVER.
Ok, enough being pissed off. Thanks for letting me rant...

New Look

2008-11-18T10:57:00.003-07:00

So please bare with me as I change up this blog..I will be adding pics shortly, so thanks for your patience! We are really needing to get family pictures taken so that y'all can see that we really do exist. I cant believe how much our family has changed over the last few years. The kids have matured, I have slowly began regaining brain cells as they have gotten older, and Tim has gone bald. LOL, totally on purpose, he's my sexy bald man now.

This weeekend was pretty good. BYU won their game on Saturday, thus the weekend was a success. Some really exciting news, Madisyn got to go into the playland at IKEA for the first time Saturday!!! This may not seem so thrilling to some of you, it was monumental for her and me though. She is almost 4 1/2 and has been potty trained for over a year and a half, yet every time we have gone to IKEA she hasn't been big enough. We cheated a bit, but only like 1/4 of an inch, see, they measure the kids with a measuring type stick like at the doctors office. I had her hair in ponies, and her rubberband was sticking up, the lady was trying to check in like 6 kids and was distracted and did not notice this blunder, YAY for us! She was so excited that she talked everyones ear off, anyone who would listen got "hey, I am big now! I am growing cuz I got to go to the play place at IKEA!" It was pretty cute. This proves that she js finally growing for the first time in over a year, I think I can put away the "tiny person" theory away for now. I really wasn't worried, the doctors and dieticians were really the ones freaking out. After trying everything to get her to gain weight and grow even a centimeter didn't work, I had decided that she would grow in her own time. She still is stuck at nearly 27 pounds, but come on, she came home at 4 lbs, thats a great growth as far as I'm concerned..

I also realized that my kids really are growing up. I know that sounds redundent and silly, but I have been thinking a lot about how my life as a mom has really phased into something completely different. When you have bitty ones, you get into that mode of changing diapers and sleep deprivation and all that goes with that. I dont have babies anymore! I was so used to that phase and now that I am in this new one, I feel kinda lost. I was telling Melissa while we were at IKEA, that I will feel really sad when the day comes that Madisyn doesn't automatically reach up to grab my hand wheile we are walking together. It's true that hindsight is 20/20 and its true when the cute little old ladies stop you in the mall and tell you that time flies and to cherish your little ones. It's just so hard to do when you get caught up in the moment of what has to happen next, instead of what is happening in the now.

Tonight I am making a stop before I go to the NICU. A few weeks ago I had given a little girl whose birthday Chantelle had been invited to, some of my jewelery and hair products as a gift. I included a business card, and apparently my number got passed around. I am meeting several moms so they can buy some product. I am working on my display cases today, I have some fun ideas that I hope will pan out.

Thursday a bunch of the girls and I are going to a midnight showing of Twilight. I know we are nuts, all our kids have school the next day. Whats a little sleep deprivation, right? I wish Carrie were able to come along, she and the clan will be arriving sometime that day or most likely late night. We are so excited to have the Gibsons back home!!! The trip for them has been slow and tiring, but they are all really glad to be coming back as well. They have been gone just shy of four LONG years, its about time guys!!

well hopefully the next time you few readers log on to my blog, you will see updated pictures of my fam. I gotta go tame Madisyn's hair. Shy of hot gluing that girls hair down to her scalp, theres not much hope I'm afraid. She refuses to leave her "pretties" in, she's obsessed with brushing her hair and then it ends up this ball of poofiness! And to top it off, I swear her hair is immune to hair care products, any help out there? Have a great one guys!!

GRRR....

2008-11-14T12:06:00.003-07:00

Ever have one of THOSE days?! Well today is one of them for me. I got to start the day out with a meeting at the elementary school with the principal, Jordan's first grade teacher, and the school psychologist. We, if you have read my blog know, Jordan has been our struggle kid. we all have one, admit this now. We held him back a year in kindergarten because he wasn't ready for school. His teacher last year and I communicated everyday about every issue under the sun. Within moments of meeting his teacher this year at back to school night, I spoke to her about all of these things and let her know that we were evaluating for ADD and that I would be giving her the paperwork to track him. She told me that she had been a teacher for a long time (30+ years) and that she had some very sucessful strategies for dealing with "these" kids and please, give her a chance to try them out. Well I was all for it! I know some of you who may read this are thinking, medication is a copout. You don't understand, we have tried every thing we know how. We have tracked his eating and sleeping habits, tried behavior modifications, tried positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, more one on one, YOU NAME IT we have tried it!!! So after 2 weeks of getting phone calls from the principal about everythig from food fights to bullying, we set up this meeting. It went fairly well, but I am just frustrated to find out today that the whole reason his teacher didnt want Jordan on meds is because she had an ADD son who had a bad experience on them. Well, first of all every kid is different, second of all had I known this info, as his parent I would have gone ahead with the meds at the start of the year and he may be doing better now. It's not even his academic issues, he is the smartest, fastest learning kid in the class apparently and she wants to put him into gifted classes, he just cant sit still and so she cant do it. So we went up to the doctors office and got the paperwork for me, the teacher and the psychologist to fill out and the girls are fighting and screaming at eachother the entire way to and from, then halfway home the oil light and warning goes off so I have to haul them out of the car to go into auto zone to get oil. Then I cant get the stupid oil cap off, when I finally do I see it's down a quart. I fill it up, thankfully the light and darn warning bells go off. As I turn onto my street they go off again! GRRR....!! So I dont know whats wrong with the stupid thing!! I made the girls lunch because they say they are starving, do they eat it? NO! they fight over a flippin' McDonalds toy for 5 minutes before my nerves are finally frayed t the point that I took the toy and I opened the kitchen window and I threw it as far as I could!! I cant believe I did that, I kinda feel bad about it now, not that the stupid toy is gone, but that the neighbor is going to find it and wonder where the crap it came from LOL! Well I gotta go and take Lex to school and sign forms for the psychologist to "evaluate" Jordan.. Wish me luck, and if any of you have any ideas on things that maybe I haven't tried before the medication, lemme know!!

A 2 day phenomenan

2008-11-13T08:36:00.003-07:00

I know, your thinking, "2 days in a row?! Have you been home bound or duct-taped to your chair?!" Thankfully, I have not. I just realize that I really do need to be better about posting. So all three of you who read this will get more time on the computer ;).
I thought it was funny to share a view this morning. We all know that some sort of girl/boy programming is already in us when we are born, right? Meaning, there have been studies showing that even if a kid is raised in a completely gender free environment and then presented with certain gender specific toys such as a doll or truck, girls will almost always go to the doll and the boys to the truck. It's how your 2 year old son knows to use his bitty hand as an assault weapon even if he's never ever seen a gun in all his little life! Well today I witnessed something pretty funny. I am the neighborhood mom, my mom was the same way and I really don't know why this happens-maybe I need to be meaner or something...Anyways, all the neighborhood kids come to my house in the morning before school. This morning Chantelle and her friend Cheyanne were headed out the front door when I heard this little squelch and saw them both jump backwards a couple of feet and point at the door. "MOM!!!! There is a HUMONGOUS spider on the door!" Chantelle hollers. I, who never had issues with any bug or animal until I saw the blessed movie arachnophobia, jumped up to view this demon that would prevent me from going anywhere in the neighborhood of my front door for the rest of the day, when Tyler's best friend Colby says-very manly for a 12 year old-"lemme take a look at that". Without another word, he went into the bathroom, came back with a TINY square of tissue, and killed the beast. You could hear the crunch!! I thanked him profusely and the kids went on their way to school. So do you all think that spider-killing is an automatic gender programming cuz if not I really want to personally thank his father for programming him at such an early age to protect all womankind from the arachnids of this world, his wife will also be thankful!!
I forgot to share something that I was told about at the NICU the other night that was pretty dang hilarious. One of the charge nurses on labor and delivery was kind of swamped with all the ladies who had delivered or were near delivery. One of her patients who had already given birth kept pushing her call button and was seemingly impatient with the wait, so she went in as soon as she could. When she walked in the room, the girl immediately says "could you please burp me?!" and of course, the nurse looked at her with wide-eye bewilderment, and the girl says "I'm having trouble with some gas, could you just pat my back for a minute?" and she was completely SERIOUS!!! So the poor nurse who has no earthly idea what is appropriate in this kind of situation, obliges her and sure enough after a moment she burped, thanked her and the nurse walked out! Can you imagine?! All of thee nurses thought it was so hilarious, that one of them came in the next morning with this pretty wrapped present for the nurse. When she opened it, the whole floor erupted with laughter when they saw the HUGE burp cloth that had been made for her!!!!!
well I hope that all of you have a great day, I get to run errands and organize-yay me-try not to be jealous. I'll think of you!

Holy Long Time Batman!!

2008-11-12T09:27:00.003-07:00

So it has been literally forever since I have updated this blog. I suck. I know that this has been established in other posts, but I had to reiterate it because of my laziness these last months. So, life has still gone on. I sometimes feel like nothing ever changes, so why bore y'all with the mundaneness of it? But, this morning I had to do the Heimlich maneuver on my 7 year old Jordan and it scared the pants off of me!! You know, you get think that when you get into that situation, your gut instincts kick in and all will be ok. Uh, yeah, if your not performing it on YOUR kid!! He had gotten one of Tim's butterscotch candies and inhaled it, apparently it lodged right smack in there blocking his airway, I had to do it three times to dislodge it. I am still shaking, nothing makes you realize the thin space that life and death occupies like watching your child turn colors and flop around. The ironic thing is that only he and Lexi are truly the only ones who ever scare the crap outta me. October is proof of this fact. It started with Lexi stepping on an old rusty nail outside, it went through her shoe then into her toe. It was pretty deep, so I treated it and took her in to the instacare on the advice of her Pede's office-apparently there are some weird issues with nails and kids feet that are too lengthy to get into, but they are scary. So she gets a tetanus shot, this is Wednesday. Saturday comes rolling along, cleaning his room (don't ask how or why this got into his room, he's a boy and collects "stuff") Jordan steps on a rusted safety pin the size of Texas, looking like an antique first edition of the safety pin mind you, so off we go to the instacare once again-same foot too. Wednesday comes rolling around, yeah take a deep breath, and the day is going well. Lexi has the chore of putting the clean dishes away from the dishwasher. I was in the playroom right next to the kitchen when about quarter to 5 all 5 kids start screaming hysterically. This happens often, you know what I mean, kids scream and fight and irritate eachother, so I didn't immediately jump up. Within seconds though I could sense something wasn't right and ran into the kitchen where the kids were pointing at Lexi who was dumbfounded in the middle of the all the kids, her arm hanging to her side, blood flowing nicely to the floor. Again, you imagine that all your logic and first aid common sense would kick in, and believe me, I have assisted at horrible car crashes with all of that intact in the appropriate moment. Not when it's your child. I rushed outside after holding her arm together with both of my hands screaming for help from my now scared to death neighbor. She of course, not having it be her child had all her smartness intact and was able to calm me down. Apparently what had happened-and let this be a lesson to all of you with plugged in kitchen aides or Bosch machines-she had been putting the mixer blade on the machine instead of in the drawer when it turned on. She hadn't finished clipping it on yet and in her mind that was dangerous, she said later that she was afraid it was going to fly off and hurt one of the other kids and she loves our family so much that she didn't want that to happen (that was one of my proudest mom moments and yes I discreetly bawled when she explained this to me), she said she would rather be hurt then have any of us cry. So in her 5 year old mind the best thing to do was stick her arms in the blades to prevent that. Her left arm got stuck between the blade and the wall of the mixer and it was explained that the pressure was so great that it basically split like a hotdog in the microwave, all the way down to the bone. meanwhile she had stuck her right arm through the "spokes" of the blade and it twisted that arm. They initially thought she had broken both arms and may require surgery. Thankfully it had missed the tendons, I got to watch her tendons moving when she moved her hand, that was kinda cool. She decided that we needed to have a family talk when we got home from the hospital, when I asked her what we needed to talk about she said "I think that some jobs are just grownup jobs and that kids cant do everything. And we should never plug that thing in until we use it" WOW, great insight, why the crap did her mom not think of leaving the "thing" unplugged until use?! So please leave them unplugged, it was a freak accident for sure but take heed nonetheless. She had 2 sprained arms and 30 stitches, and now is having some movement issues but other than that she's ok. So, where was I? Wednesday, you'd think that is enough child trauma to last years. Apparently not for us. Saturday comes rolling around, you guessed it, Jordans turn. Madisyn threw a play john deere tractor at his head and split it open. Back to the instacare...At this point I am seriously waiting for a knock on the door from DCFS!!! I got the choice between stitches or glue, we went for the glue baby. If anything, I can honestly say that my life with my kids is always a grand adventure full of expensive co pays and panic, hey, that could very well sum up motherhood!
I went to the NICU last night for parent support after a while away. I had forgotten how much I love that work, the girls are so great. And it's kinda nice to know that we are really helping to alleviate some of the stress that these parents go through while having a baby in the NICU. For anyone who hasn't had that experience, thank the stars, it's the most emotionally trying and draining thing in this world. The constant ups and downs and unknowns are insane. When Jordan was in the NICU (the first of 3) it felt like our world was ending. Being told that these incredible doctors who we rely on to know all, didn't know what was wrong with your baby and he could die does something to how you view everything. If you can imagine having your beating heart torn out of your chest as you watch, times that by a million and you can get a taste of it. You think about it and you wonder how this tiny thing that you just met can define your everything, how is it possible? I don't thing I'll ever understand the love between mother and child. This same little boy that I could have lost today, he has never stopped fighting. Sometimes I wish he wouldn't fight so damn hard everyday, but I chalk it up to his desire to be here. He is my "struggle" child, I am so thankful to have him and all my kids in my life no matter what though. Hug your kids today, remember those first few moments when your world was that child, it's so easy to forget those feelings when they are being defiant and disobedient! It's so easy to forget that when you are worrying about those things that you cant change, but when we figure out that love is all that matters in the long run, it can make those things seem so insignificant...
Ok, enough about that. I kinda hollered at Jordan after that was all over and gave him a lecture about sneaking hard candy. I should have hugged him and told him how much I love him and how important he is in my life instead..I need to apologize to my son now, I pray that I am never too proud to tell my kids I am sorry and that I messed up. I think I'll go make a card for him and take it to school...

"Crunchy Dancing"

2008-08-11T16:37:00.002-07:00

My best friend since I was 7 years old came back to town from where she and her husband and 2 sons are living in Virginia Beach Virginia, doing foster care for troubled boys. It has been 3 years since I saw her briefly,, and even longer since I saw her husband Chris and their wonderful boys CJ and Mark. It has been so incredible visiting with them!! On Saturday we got together along with her sis Carrie and Carries hubby and decided to go out to eat and then go Country Dancing. We had a while to wait to eat so we spent some time in the electronic store next store and Della and Carrie schooled me in the art of "world of warcraft". We ate at Good Wood BBQ, the food was really awesome. I suggest the pulled pork =). We enjoyed some great conversation and debate as we watched the olympics they had playing on the large television, we mostly watched the womens volleyball, well beach volleyball. We were super stuffed afterwards!! We headed to the armory in Provo and caught the last 15 minutes or so of the instruction before the dance started. It was SOOO much fun!!! I have to say that a lot of the steps now elude me. See, Tim and I went EVERY weekend when we were engaged, newly married and really up until we got preggers with Ty. We were awesome back in the day, we even did lifts. Not so much anymore! Della made a good point about a lot of the steps being in the muscle memory though. There was a thunderstorm going on, they had all the doors open and these massive fans blowing to cool everyone off. The back doors led out to the provo skate park, ramps and tunnels and it was deserted, so Tim and I watched the lightening and felt the sprinkle of the small raindrops and danced all by ourselves on a ramp. It was really romantic!!
I did a couple of line dances, "boot-scoot'n'boogie" and "fireman", but all the others were newer than 13 years, so I didnt know how to do them. Tim and I sat those out and we had fun watching everyone else do them. We attempted to two-step and waltz, but mostly we just held eachother and mooched in the corner of the armory during slow songs =).. We also had a lot of fun analizing all the people who were there. This one guy was a freak, he only danced during the line dances, but he was doing way more than your average person. Those of you who dont know about line dancing, you learn the steps then you add your own pizazz and personality to them. Well, this guy was freaking out and doing the line dances on speed!! Then there was this other guy who was content looking at every female that walked through the door with hopeful eyes, but that was kinda the sad point, he looked desperate! I doubt he hooked up with anyone, poor guy LOL! At one point, Tim amd I were walking out onto the floor after taking a break and a guy grabbed my hand and about drug me out onto the floor before he realized I was already attached to somebody!
Carrie and her love got tired about 10:30 or so and had early church so they took off, but we stayed and danced the very last dance, then at midnight it was over. We had so much fun that we didnt want the night to end, so Tim, Chris, Della and I all hopped into the car and drove to Sonic for icecream. We ended up catching up and talking and laughing until about 2 a.m. when we decided we'd finally better go-we were afraid that Sonic was going to kick us off their benches!
Sunday we were invited to Della's parents house for a birthday celebration-Della turns 31 on the 14th. Chris used to work in a restaraunt and is a fabulous chef, he cooked her favorite meal, chicken carbonna I believe (?) with garlic toast, salad, pink and orange "fluffy stuff" and a really yummy punch. I made her wear a tiara and a boa I had brought as part of her gift, there were a lot of people there and it was a lot of fun. We stayed past 9 and the kids were really upset to leave because they had made some fun friends.
So that was our fun weekend. Thanks to Della and Chris for inviting us to hang out!! We had a blast and we cant wait to come and visit you guys in Virginia!

My month in a nutshell

2008-08-04T22:01:00.003-07:00

Nearly a month to the date of my last post? Wow, I suck rocks and eat cheese! A lot has happened and I will write a short summary of the month-cuz it was amazingly crazy and cram packed!!!

July 4th: traditon holds this one. The boys sleep on the parade route the night before to "save" the great spot next to where the infamous subway restaraunt used to stand. Yes, all of you fellow bloggers who share the history of the subway on University Ave, it is no longer there. It has been de-railed forever...moment of silence.... ok, so the girls bring breakfast the next morning. This year we kinda threw out the tradition of slaving all night over breakfast choices and prep because, well I think we were feeling lazy this year. But guess what? EVERYONE STILL LIVED!!! so that one tradition might be SOL, which uh means, stupid old law.... So we were almost an hour late to the doggone parade because we couldnt find a spot that was close enough before we all paid out the wazoo to finally park. Dont ask what "wazoo" stands for cuz I really dont wanna say. The parade was ever so entertaining for us grown up folk, like always, I once again remember that I do this for my kids who I will never deprive of that deep seeded joy I convince myself they feel every year as the "parade planner executive" car passes by. Enough said about my issues. We instead of going to see the great boutiques set up nearby after the parade, go home and gloriously nap. Another tradition, go to the temple grounds to watch the wonderous display of fireworks that we could never in a million years afford to see in the actual stadium, and barbeque as we inadequetly watch over our children- praying they dont get abducted. Also skipped it. I know what you are thinking, whats wrong with us this year?! Well, I think I am getting oldre and in my oldnessism, I wanna say wiser-but I really think I am just getting lazier. So there you have it. We instead went to my sisters neighborhood where they had a great display of fireworks in what they joyfully refer to as "The Culdesac Of Fire", and t was awesome! Not only did we get to eat snacks all night as we watched great displays of firework glory off of step ladders, we didnt get stuck in traffic for 19 hours trying to get home. all in all I say it rocked!!

July 14th: Tim and Tylers birthday. A hot flippin day too. So what do you do on a hot summer day? Yu go swimming of course! Tyler had his party at the swimming pool, a group of 11 year oldish boys all together and swimming.. That will DEFINATELY tire them out for the sleepover later right? WRONG!!! There is a rule, that apparently I missed somewhere along the way, that says "hot sun and junk food and swimming all day will make boys hyper", I know this now and will never mistake it again. Those darn boys were up ALL night long! At some point during the night I decided if the house was gonna burn down, my detectors would alert me and that was that, I went to bed! I was a little bit mommish though, my firstborn turned 11 and I cant believe he is a few short years from teenagerhood, I am starting to be a bit terrified, but still nostalgic.

July 18-20: My sisters grandmother in law (got that?) owns a cabin up in Idaho, so we decided to have a family weekend up there. It really was incredible, no cell phone service, you could see the stars, and nobody died. We had 10 adults, and 14 kids-so thats an accomplishment. This was acres and acres of wonderous playland for the kids. There were cows to chase and prod with sticks, a small pond that almost swallowed a kid but only got away with a shoe, a massive fire pit/amphitheatre, huge outdoor eating area, 3 outhouses (there was indoor plumbing too, but the outhouses were really cool), hiking areas galore. We celebrated my brothers daughter turning 4 on the 17th and my baby turning 4 on the 19th, again I have to say that I was a freaky nostalgia queen-if only to myself. I cant believe that my Madisyn is no longer my baby, she's growing up..You always know thats going to happen, but it is tough when it does. We had a birthday party complete with icecream that didnt fare so well in the messed up freezer, cupcakes we made in these cute star shaped cupcake holders, and birthday hats. The older kids slept out in a tent and I never thought once about a wildly mad psychotic crazed mountain man coming to murder them. So it was a sucessful trip!

July 21: Tim and I could say we made it through 13 years of marriage! We decided to celebrate the following weekend because Tim gets up at 4 am to work and we wanted to stay up late if ya know what I mean. So Christi and Melissa and I went to see Colbi Collet and John Mayer play up in Salt lake city. It was an outside theatre and it was very warm out. We had so much fun though! We were dancing and being ridiculous, but we didnt care. At one point, a couple behind us asked how it was we were having so much fun-the most fun out of anyone there they could see they said-when we hadnt had anything to drink, and they hadnt seen us smoking anything good!! That was pretty funny. We got stuck in traffic getting out and while waiting I suggested we do chinese fire drill. Sounds harmless you say? Well Melissa and I collided into one another in the front of the car, and I still bear a bruise on my right arm!

July 26: I turned 31. I know, ancient huh?! Tim took me out to lunch, then to get my nails done which was exactly what I had asked for. I used to love getting my nails done, its a luxury of the past now-they dont stay as pretty as long when you're making mud pies, ya know? After that we packed for an overnighter at a Hotel in Salt Lake. Thank you to all you family members who took our 5 kids, you are SAINTS!!! It was wonderful.....Need I say anymore? We reminissed about all the years we have been together. We've actually known eachother for 16 years and we were highschool sweethearts. Those of you who are doing the calculations on my age and then the number of years we have been married will indeed discover that I was 17 when we tied the knot, but only for 5 days. Yes, my momma had to sign for me to get married!! I could have never calculated in all my life, that my love for this man could get any deeper or better than that day we committed ourselves to one another. But it has increased at least a thousand fold. Sometimes I look at newlyweds and think, man, that would suck to be there again! I know what lies ahead, and its been a great ride.. I look forward to the rest of my life!

July 31-August 3rd: Melissa and Alan invited us to go down to lake powell and stay on her dads houseboat! I am still freshly burned and almost done recooperating. This was the most fun we have had in I dont even know when! Thanks to my mom and Meredith for watching the kids while we spent time here. Christi and Nathan came as well, we all traveled down together in a borrowed van. Traveling is much more relaxing without kids! The first night we were there we got settled in and decided to kinda dress up and go out to eat in page AZ which was literally up the road. After reading off a bunch of restaraunts we decided on one called "the mandarin cafe" I tell you this so you may heed the warning of this cautionary tale. It was a chinese food buffet, after being led to our table our waitress, who you can assume was asian, spoke to us. "you can go pay" she said. Well we had just been seated, that was weird! we all stood up, looked at one another and asked "huh?" she repeated herself 2 or 3 more times before we realized she ws saying " you go eat buffet" and we were al nearly in hysterics by this point. The food sucked, the service was no good and it was like 30 bucks a couple! We tried warning a family going in that it was no good, but they were tourists from Germany and I guess we could have sounded like we were saying "that foods so good" cultural differences, what you gonna do?! We got our groceries and then headed back to the houseboat. If anyone has been to Lake Powell this time of year, you kn0ow its HOT!!!! We immediately got into our swimsuits where we actually stayed the entire trip, even sleeping in them. A couple people went for a swim off the house boat when this duck comes out of nowheer and proceeds to seem like its going to attack Nathan! The thing, which I lovingly named "quackers", would not stop charging, so the swim was cut short. We found out the next day that the duck just loved swimming with peple, it would swim behind you then turn and have you follow it, it was bizzare! We started a game of phase 10 but stopped midway because we were all exhausted. The next day we picked up the speed boat at 8 am. We spent the day going out on the lake. The first spot we went to was awesome, it had this natural jetty like thig tu could swim out to-the water being over 80 degrees-and the girls and I had a blast breaking off pieces of this natural sanbar and "making sand", we even got enough to make a sand castle atop this huge rock in the lake. The boys fished the whole tie there. We then ate lunch and went to another location that was more rock. The layering in the rock was absolutely amazing. The boys fished, and christi as well. Melissa and I swam off on our rafts to investigate this little "island rock" a bit away. We found there was a perfect divot in it where we could place our foats and kinda be submerged in water and be lying down. We both got fried after a bit and decided to cool off after a massive wave shoved melissa out of the divot into the lake! As we got closer to the boat, I saw something in the water that kinda looked like a 5 dollar bill. I commented to melissa that that would be cool if we found 5 bucks, we could be so lucky to find a treasure! She thought it looked like a bottle, a message in a bottle, so now we HAD to get it up! Bless Nathans heart, he tried tirelessly for like 15 minues to get that thing to a spot he could dive to and show us who was right. He gave it his all with the boat oar when christi finally tired of our antics and dove for the thing. What was it you ask?! An old Budweiser can filled with lake muck!!! That was our treasure, but it was fun anyhow! We went home, made dinner and played a few more hands of our phase 10 game, Tim and I tied with 2 phases left when we quit again for the night. The next day we went out again on the speed boat. We first went through this amazing canyon ride. Let me just tell you, you realize the awesomeness of the world through this ride, the rock creations and the colors, the water, its almost too much totake in! Then we went to another beach spot that had a red sand beach. I collected clam shells wih beautiful pink and purple hues. We swam in HOT lagoons with aaqua water. Small sunfish swam right to us as we sat there on natural rock chairs. It was so much fun!!! It started to get choppy though and we headed back early, but not before Alan discovered how to "spray"the boat with cold water on the way back! We ate dinner, then swam in the lake with quackers, then fished. Yep, I caught a catfish! I wont tell you that christi caught like a million of themm and even hooked a massive 15 pound carp. cuz that would make my one look stupid ya know... Melissa and I decided that we couldnt leave without making someone elses day when they found a "message in a bottle". So Sobe bottle in tow, and wonderous words of wisdom, we set our bottle free off the end of the dock. In ten years we will see if the finders have followed our instructions about the words of wisdom and return them to us. Hey, Alan, you never know!! LOL! We all slept kinda fitfully as we were all burned crisply, and morning came too soon. We packed up and cleaned the boat, waved a sad farewell wave to quackers and headed home. We got home last night around 6, and reality started again...

So there is your update. Jordan turned 7 on the 1st while we were gone, so we havent done his birthday yet, but we will and I will update you on that one. Thanks for reading, please excuse the million typos I know were in here, it took me almost 2 hours to write, and its now well after midnight. I'll try to write more often, school is about to start and some normalcy will again be practiced!! Love to y'all Holly

new chapters

2008-07-05T16:05:00.002-07:00

So, our weight loss contest has been over for a month! It doesnt seem possible to me. The year is more than half over already and the kids go back to school next month. How time flies! I reached my weight loss goals and can actually say that I am very proud of myself. I have slacked off of the exercizing which is very bad I know, and Tim and I keep saying we will go back tomorrow-tomorrow isnt coming! I will get back at some point, I gotta! I don't wanna end up back where I was..

So whereas I still hope to be able to give and get support from all everyone regarding our health and our weightloss, I have an inkling that this will become more of a normal blog on my life in general. I will not pronise anything specacular or even remotely insightfull, in fact it may be downright boring. But this is my life, so be it!

I wont promise to post everyday, it just wont happen! But I hope you read it anyways....

hello all!

2008-05-16T08:20:00.003-07:00

Hello ladies,
This week has just flown by! I cant believe that it's already Friday. Today my oldest daughter Telle, said that she was excited to only have 9 days of school left after today. HOLY CRAP!!! Is it seriously that close to chaos now?! I love, and also hate summer. I love that I get to spend more time with my kids, and I hate that I get to spend so much time with my kids. Ok, LOl, that came out wrong I think! I dont hate spending time with them, it's just that I am such a protective mama and I need to learn how to let go a little and let my kids spread their wings. If I could learn how to do that, there would not be so much whining and asking constantly to do this and that with him or her and ladi dadi doo. Enough of that rant!

So I was eating funky flavored taffy last night courtesty of mr. T. and I was scamming the headlines when I came across a picture that made my heart sink. The earthquake that hit China on Monday has been well journalized. This picture was of a mother cradling her son after he was pulled dead from the rubble of his elementary school. The launguage of a mothers love is universal, it transcends all language barriers and continents, the anguish and sorrow in this mothers face documented in the form of a simple picture left me speachless. Tim and I had been joking and laughing only moments before and now I was transfixed looking at picture after picture of this country literally devistated by this. Parents cleaning their childrens hands sacredly before they were buried in mass graves to avoid decomp problems, a wife lying down beside her dead husband in the street refusing to let him be moved, can you imagine yourself faced with such horror-could you let your child go? I think my child would have to be torn from my arms...There was a story about a teenage girl who was trapped so horribly that both her legs had to be amputated before she could be moved and she was one of the lucky ones.. They go on and on and make you heartsick. My kids saw me a horrible mess after Katrina, I bawled for days feeling so helpless and had I had the opportunity I would have given the clothes off my back! I don't know about anyone else, but it makes me feel helpless and sad, and desperate, and more grateful then I can ever express. It also makes me think that no matter what, each day is a gift with those we care about and love, we could have an earthquake here tomorrow, where would our babies and husbands be? What would we give to hold them one more time, to tell them that we love them, to take back something we said or did? I pray for all those who are affected by tradgedy in their live, whether its out there for the world to view or personal. It makes griping about gas prices and having kids home for summer break just downright assanine. Well, enough depressing y'all for one day!

So good luck to Melissa tomorrow running the 5K at Thanksgiving Point. Kick butt girl, and thanks for hanging out with me yesterday, it was a lot of fun! I have the NICU reunion tomorrow which should be fun. It's always so awesome to see all the babies now growing so big and doing so awesome!

I hope everyone else is doing ok. Keep your chins up and keep on keepin' on LOL!

really on the nose

2008-05-12T07:25:00.003-07:00

My friend Della has a really cool blog. She is also really great at posting each and every day! Yes, I know, I suck. I have already admitted my suckiness and am looking for a "suckiness help group" in my area. Now, I mention Della because she posted yesterday, BTW HAPPY BELATED MOTHERS DAY TO ALL YOU LADIES!!! And in her wishes of all thats good, she posted a 2 minute long anthem to mothers. Ya'll have to check it out! I watched it at like 1 in the morning-thank you insomnia-and I had to cover my mouth so as not to wake my house! It's this woman who made into a song everything we mothers say in a 24 hour period to our kids. I was rolling on the floor, so get your laugh in for the day and check her out!
Ok, weight wise I gained about half a pound this month. I am in no way sad about this now weighing 112 because Tim and I joined a gym about 6 weeks ago and I have been doing alot of muscle building and toning, and I expect to be gaining muscle now,as I think I lost all the fat that was available to lose. I absolutely love the weight machines, the treadmill and the eliptical. It is great to have a kid old enough to babysit for short periods of time. Ty is almost 11 and a pretty responsible kid, he does a great job and besides the ther kids are in bed by the time we go.
So that is pretty much all that is going on. I am trying to prepare for summer break coming up, but can you ever prepare for that?!

2008-04-21T22:13:00.003-07:00

Ok, so it has been not only obvious to myself, but other readers have basically told me that well, I SUCK!! I have been absolutely horrible at posting and I pray that you may all forgive me as I am on bended knee begging you!!!!

This past week was spring break for the kids. I watched the downstairs little boy for 4 days which kinda screwed everything up for going places. We wouldn't all fit into the car! But I did make a hundred bucks which is the first amount of money to go into the pot for my BJ (that stands for boob-job sick minded ladies!) and that is very exciting. Only 3650 more to go LOL!

I was super excited that the kids went back to school today needless to say. But I was very naughty and I ate a lemon hostess pie. BAD BAD BAD!! I ate it and then looked at the back. Ladies, not a good idea. There are 10 points in one of those!!!!! I almost threw up I was so disgusted with myself. I will do better tomorrow. I also had to learn a very hard lesson last week when I ate like crap all day. I was so freakin' sick, and it lasted for 4 days. Bad stuff y'all, I will never do that again.

I joined a gym, finally! I laugh at myself for this one for the fact that I lost all my weight before I even joined one! Kinda silly huh? Now that I achieved weight loss my goals have changed to continuing to become more aerobically (that is so not a word, but oh well!) healthy, and to tone more. Don't be surprised if you see me gain some weight as I add more muscle to me.

I am really excited about our girls over nighter for the final weigh-in! I really hope we can all make it-hint, hint! Carrie is coming all the way from Georgia, so it would be really great if everyone else could make the effort to be there. We will have such a blast, and after this journey you should all be so proud of yourselves and this should be a wonderful reward. Your hubbies can take care of the kids for one night and although its a sacrafice for them to do it, we all deserve it! So enough of my soapbox...

I hope everyone is doing great. It was a really tough month for everyone but we can get back on track ladies. Thanks to you all for such awesome support. And oh yeah, your forgiveness LOL!

It's been a while

2008-04-07T07:12:00.002-07:00

so I have sucked at posting. I should be punished! I do however have great news as far as weighing goes. Drumroll please.... I weighed in today at 111.5!!! I will have to have Christi help me post the pic of my weight and the pic I took last week in my bikini. Yes I got into a bikini!! Well last night I burned 6 of my fingertips and 4 now have honker blisters on them so typing even this much is like torture. Good luck to all..

weigh in day

2008-03-20T07:57:00.001-07:00

I'm kinda in a hurry this morning so I will just post my weight and do an update later. I lost 1 pound, so I am at 115 and have 5 pounds left to go! More later...

weigh in day

2008-03-13T20:06:00.003-07:00

I am so sorry I have been such a slacker this past week! I only lost 6 ounces, but I am now exactly 6 pounds away from my goal!! That is very exciting for me.
Let me just say how much fun I had this weekend. I really feel like I got to know you guys so much better, and we are such great chefs ladies! I really wish that each and every one of you in the BL could make it to these get-togethers every month. I am sorry for those of you who just couldn't make it for scheduling reasons, and I am sad for those of you who don't live in state, I don't mean to rub that in like you are thinking Carrie! I feel like this is an experience where I have made life long friends. I want everyone to know how much I appreciate your support. I feel incredibly blessed to be a part of this group. Ok, I will stop being sappy :)!
I have more energy, I am eating healthier, and I feel so sexy!!! I still have some toning that needs to happen in my thighs, but I really think that running will dissolve that. My relief-society arms are gone, (as are my boobs-but I am looking into some help with that problem with a very nice augmentation hopefully this year!), but my stomach is truly flat ladies! I have hip bones again that stick out further than my belly LOL, and my butt is no longer bumpier than the street in front of my house! Just the legs and a few pounds left... Can you guys tell a difference?

weigh-in day

2008-03-06T08:09:00.003-07:00

Toda was weigh in day and I am down 2 pounds this week! Weight is now 116.5, I cant believe we are halfway through with this contest! This week has flown by and it is almost the weekend again. Also ladies, season 2 of "in the motherhood" premiered a few weeks ago, and there is another episode came out today, episode 3. It is also LOL funny, so check it out. For those of you who didn't see my initial post about it the website is http://www.inthemotherhood.msn.com so enjoy!

5k here I come!

2008-03-02T16:55:00.001-07:00

So I did it, I just signed up for the 5k in April! Who else is gonna jump on board?!

Weigh-in today

2008-02-28T08:46:00.002-07:00

So It seems as if I am in a bit of a stump! Gone are the weeks of decent loss, and in its place are bitty little numbers. This week I lost a little over 1 and a half pounds. Which by all means I am not going to complain about! Its funny, I almost dont care what the scale says at all anymore! I feel like I am moving in the right direction, so all I can do from here is try my best not to cheat myself out of becoming healthier. So I hope all you ladies are doing well, with the weekend coming up, I hope that you all have a wonderful weekend and that you can resist the temptations that beckon to you!

Too Funny

2008-02-27T08:27:00.004-07:00

So I sign on my computer with MSN. The homepage is one I normally just skip to get where I am wanting to go, however yesterday I looked on it for a minute and found this: "In The Motherhood" and it was flippin' hillarious! It has a bunch of people in it, 3 main characters are Chelsea Handler and Jenny Mcarthey and Leah Remini. They are on season two, so make sure you check out the first season on there too. I love the one called something like the preacher, the panties and the policeman, I think I will definately keep watching this one, I was laughing so hard! My kids I think became concerned at one point, but I needed that laugh! So the link is : http://www.inthemotherhood.msn.com/ go laugh yourself silly!

Reasons to lose weight

2008-02-24T12:01:00.002-07:00

I have read everyone elses blogs about their individual reasons for wanting to be apart of this experience, and I feel like you have already answered the question for me! A lot of what you ladies have said, is exactly how I feel. One of my main reasons, is that I feel like over the last few years, I have not been able to be in control of my own body. I have had so many health issues, no energy, a lot of pain, and I dont like what I see in the mirror. I want my body to be in synch with my age. I am 30 years old and yet every day I feel like my body is betraying me. I dont seem to have the basic energy to do normal things. I feel guilty that I am not a more active part of my kids daily activities. I used to plan such fun activities for them, from scavenger hunts, to picnics at the park. I dont have the energy anymore! I want to not feel self conscious of my body, I dont want to make excuses for myself this year for why I dont want to go to the pool with my family-and when I do, I dont want to have to wear the swim shorts to cover myself up. I want to plat tag when it warms up without falling down from exhaustion after two minutes and giving up my turn. I want to be able to get fit enough to be able to run again, I used to look forward to that part of my day. It made my stress less, I worked out problems I dare say I could never have solved any other way- while my feet pounded the cement. My main goal is to just become healthier. This started out for me as just a contest, a number that I wanted to accomplish on the scale. But it has become so much more for me. I know a lot of you wonder why I am in this contest. You look at me and you think to yourselves, she is already thin, what is she doing? I can see it on your faces and thats ok! My purpose isn't to be a size one, my purpose it to become healthier then I have been the last 4 years and take back control of MY life, of MY destiny to be the best mom and wife and person I can be. There were two very serious health scares during this period where I was so sick I could have easily left this earth. Lying in an ICU bed with blood transfusions dripping into your body because you have lost so much of your own blood that its your only choice, that makes you think a lot about your life, about your future. This is my chance to make sure that I allow every opportunity for my body to be as strong as it can be. So thats it, thats my reason. I appreciate all of your support in helping me accomplish this chapter in my life!

Weigh-in day

2008-02-15T10:25:00.003-07:00

So we weighed in a day late because yesterday was so crazy. I lost 2 and a half pounds since last week, and only have 9 and a half pounds left to lose before I reach my goal!!!! I came to a realization after last weeks total devistation (in my own crazy mind). I have been relying way too much on what the scale says, I know, all my blasphemous advice to y'all about that not mattering-and I realized it did matter to me, more than it ever should. SO I decided that I dont care what the flippin' scale said this week, I felt good about myself. I have finally noticed a difference in my body, along with my husband, and I was gonna be proud of myself and my accomplishements this far no matter what! So neener neener neener stupid scale!!! Oh, wait, it WAS nice to me this week, LOL!!! I cant have it both ways now can I?!
How was everyones Valentines day? I hope love was in the air for everyone!!!

Losing nearly 3 people!

2008-02-09T10:34:00.001-07:00

Do you all realize that if we make our weight loss goals, together we will have lost over 450 pounds?!!!! That is complete craziness!!! Just thought I would share!

leave it to a kids show..

2008-02-08T08:55:00.001-07:00

Ok, so this morning this show came on TLC for my kids and I wasn't paying attention to it because I was writing my new Post. I went and got them breakfast and came back in the livingroom to read everyone elses blog. Out of nowhere this duck starts saying:
"If you've got a big job to do, you can do it -dont quit
do it little by little and you will accomplish it!"
HaHa, leave it to a kids show to tell a grown-up what they should be doing! I got a kick out of it so I thought I'd share (if you read the post below you know what I am talking about, if not then read below!!!).

OH WHAT A NIGHT.....

2008-02-08T08:21:00.001-07:00

So last night was the annual Chocolate Extravaganza for the Utah Valley Regional Medical Center neo-natal intensive care unit, I am a volunteer with the parent network. We help out at the event yearly to help raise money for much needed life saving equiptment, and programs, like the one I assist with which helps parents cope with the stress and emotional aspects of having their baby in the NICU. I look forward to it every year! However, this year I had mixed feelings about it. Not for the cause, but for the food! The food is extraordinary ladies. They have stations all over where a different chef is cooking something wonderful. they had chocolate fountains everywhere, milk chocolate, white chocolate, caramel-and everything you could dream to dip into these fountains. They had chinese food in these cute boxes, shrimp, quiche, meatballs, chicken in a jamaican jerk sacue on a skewere, carved beef with a bourbon sauce, Pork tenderloin with a raspberry chardonay sauce, mini cheesecakes in every flavor, chocolate mousse cakes, chocolate brownies, chocolate fudge dipped in chocolate....I could go on and on, and yes, we got to eat! I was so tempted to just say "screw it!" because this last week I was so dilligent with all of my exercise and eating, and I lost a mere 6 ounces. I was so depressed yesterday and I seriously considered giving up and deleting this blog. And so last night when I was surrounded by all this decadence looking around, I realized that even if I were to give up on the BL, I couldn't give up on my goal to become slim and healthy! I appreciate all of your support and it would be so hard to do it without your help, so thank you ladies for helping me to resist the temptation at last nights "heaven". I didn't resist everything, I had saved points ALL week to be able to eat, but I realized even eating small amounts, I was kinda sick. Which Sucked big time!!!!! Then to top it off they give these gift bags to all the people who spent the $150 a plate, plus who knows how much on auction items (We had vacation packages from France, to Hawaii auctioned off! We even had a quilt that went for 500 bucks!) And they also give them to the volunteers who helped. Of course you guessed it, filled with chocolate. The only thing not chocolate was a 25$ gift certificate to RC Willey, I cant be tempted to eat that! The truffles and raspberry sticks will be more of a temptation, but I have realized that my self control is way better than I've given myself credit for in the past. I will give most of it to my hubby, but save some for myself to eat small amounts of over a LOOONG time. So that was my night, I hope everyone else had self control last night, and I hope that everyone else doesn't let the number on the scale get them too defeated. We really are all doing so well with our goals and one month of losing doesn't define us. So everone pat yourselves on the back and keep your chins up, WE ROCK!!!

Newest Workout Craze

2008-02-04T09:36:00.000-07:00

So I am trying to have an open mind, I went to DI the other day and got a whole bunch of workout tapes. Among them, Richard Simmons "No If Ands Or Butts About It", which hey, I have heard tesimonials ladies ( Rickie Lake swears by him LOL!). I just wanted a video to target those areas. However, it became very apparent after previewing it that muting it and using my own music would be ABSOLUTELY necessary. Who, and I ask this sincerely, can stay on track during warm-up when Richard is saying "Bump and grind baby, we gotta work it all!" as he is gyrating around the stage to a blues band playing "you gotta have faith" in the background?! And "sheesh-aaaughh" comes after every move, and for no apparent reason he will break out in song and scream "HALLELUJAH!!!" Even Alexis who is used to seeing me work it said "momma, this is a really weird one"! Man, I think The day I previewed it without actually doing it had me burning calories from laughing so hard! It does have some good exercises though, so the question is posed-How bad do you want it? Do you ladies want it Richard Simmons bad?!

I'm in mourning

2008-02-01T17:07:00.001-07:00

I just cant believe my luck,
That this is now my chest!
It may not seem a sacrafice
For me to look my best.
But through nursing all 5 babies,
The "girls" have lost enough!
I had learned to love them,
(though for my hubby it's been rough)
And now the twins are leaving me,
Which is sad and plain unfair!
Lose weight, we lose our assets,
& men-they get to keep theirs!
So if you have suggestions
To overcoming this hard loss,
I'd truly be appreciative-
What a price this weight loss costs!

weigh-in day

2008-01-31T09:28:00.001-07:00

So today was weigh-in day for Christi and I. I lost 2.6 lbs this week, better than last week I guess! Hopefully by next weigh-in I will keep that number going up and will be under 120, that would be great.. I hope all of you are doing well!

2008-01-30T09:51:00.000-07:00

Two Names You Go By: 1) Holler Doller (my grandma calls me that!) 2) mom
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now: 1) cute brown silk headband 2) blue corduroy pants
Two things you Want (or have) in a Relationship: 1) unconditional love 2) Tenderness
Two of Your Favorite Things to do: 1) Write! 2) Curl up with a really good book and read uninterrupted.
Two things you did last night 1) watched the biggest loser 2) showered
Two people you Last Talked To: 1) My hubby Tim 2) Christi
Two Things You're doing tomorrow: 1) Tae Bo 2) Weighing-in and hopefully seeing results!
Two Longest Car Rides: 1) Colorado To Oregon 2) Oregon To Utah-I need to travel more!
Two Favorite Holidays 1) Valentines day 2)Other peoples birthday ( I like to do things for people)
Two Favorite Drinks: 1) Cherry Coke 2) Raspberry Lemonade-Crystal Light
Two Things About Me you may not have known: 1) I had a complete hysterectomy at 28 2) I wrote a book when I was 15 (I never did anything with it though LOL!)
Two jobs I have had in my life: 1) Telemarketer at good 'ole Western Watts 2) HVAC tech at sears
Two Movies I would watch over and over: 1) The Notebook for a good cry (even my husband cried at this one!) 2) Napolean Dyamite for a good cheesy laughathon
Two of my Favorite Foods: 1) Pasta-now nearly forbidden 2) Toss-up between potatoes and warm homemade bread-also nearly forbidden now!
Two places I'd rather be right now: 1) On a warm beach with my hubby, and me in a cute swimsuit that doesnt frighten anyone! 2) With all my girlfriends dishing dirt!
Did you learn something about me?

Does coughing like mad count as sit-ups? =)

2008-01-29T18:16:00.000-07:00

So I am sick. Yeah, this stinkin' bronchitis is crappy. I am ok throughout the day, but once the night hits,and the first thing in the morning, it's mighty yucky. Do any of you actually know how many stomach muscles you use when you cough? I dont, but I estimate it at somewhere near, oh, a bazillion! So I am being overly dramatic, but thats ok because I think maybe it is mimicking the sit-up. So maybe I shouldn't be complaining, maybe I should be thanking the bronchitis God's, and maybe some of you will be begging me to come drink from your crystal light goblets just so you too can share in the coughing-fit-almost-like-sit-ups-sickness. Well, I do like all of you, so we'll see......

what do you think?

2008-01-25T08:25:00.000-07:00

There's this new show on cable called "How To Look Good Naked" with that Carson guy from Queer eye for the straight guy. Anyways, it takes these women who have issues with their bodies, and proves to them that every one of us has a kawonkis view of our bodies. He asks what they feel their worst parts are while he makes them stand in a 360 mirror in their bra's and panties. This is filmed in a large city, I think New York, and at the start of the show he puts their pic, the one of them in their unmentionables, up on the side of this like 15 story building and he has passerby's comment-both sexes on this body. He then has the woman go into a room with REAL sized beautiful women who are all lined up also in undies. He asks them to place themselves in this line-up where thay believe themselves to be according to size of this body part they feel is too large, for instance one was a butt. She felt her behind was just enormous! So all these ladies turn around and all she has to do is stand in the place she believes her butt size falls next. Of course she put herself in the largest spot! Then Carson points out, very lovingly, that she actually has the smallest butt-she had added like 6 inches to her behind! Every one of these women has a view of herself that is NOT correct. Then after a mini makeover, new unders he tells them its time for a photo shoot, and the surprise they have no idea about is that they get to do it naked! They have these silk peces draped in all the right places, but then they put the naked pic up on the same building and this time the woman in question has to ask passerbys if they think she looks good naked! I love this show. First because it has real shaped women on it, second, it proves that we all have untrue views of ourselves, third, it opened my eyes to the fact that maybe I am not seeing myself the way others see it and that I should see myself for more than what shape I am. There was an interesting question posed on one show though. Who is harder on women being judged for their bodies, men or other women? It's women! It's true, be honest with yourself. We have the opportunity to impact one another and break the horrible cycle of everything from low self esteem, eating disorders, suicide. We have the power in our reach and we abuse it by being to harsh on ourselves and eachother. I am so glad for this opportunity to be a part of this group, we support eachother, and I don't even know half of you-but I appreciate all of you! This show is on Fridays, so tonight-check your local listings, it's a good one ladies!

not all pounds

2008-01-24T11:25:00.000-07:00

So today's weigh in wasn't all that grand. I only lost 1 1/2 pounds over the last week. But we did measurements and so far I have lost a grand total of 18 1/2 inches all over! So this is good. I am almost down to my pre pregnancy waist measurement which is exciting.
mom brought me her tae Boe tape-thanks mom! I am excited to start that, Christi and I are going to get together a couple times a week to do it. I just really need the high pace of Tae Boe! Even though I have lost a lot of inches I still don't feel like I look any different.
I hope everyone elses week is good. Thanks for all of your support ladies!

what a day!

2008-01-22T17:24:00.000-07:00

This morning I took my 8 year old daughter to the doctors. We found out she has full blown asthma! I thought she would most likely have sports asthma, but apparently it's more than that. Now she is on a daily medication for maintenance and has to carry around a rescue inhaler.
Yesterday was crazy snowy here! The same daughter was in the car with me when we were rear-ended. I got some whiplash so the right side of my neck is really sore. Thank goodness my husband is a massage therapist! He massaged my neck and back for like an hour and a half. She was sore yesterday but says she is okay today.
Christi came over today after she watched my kids this morning-THANK YOU SIS!!!!! We "relaxed" and she made these really awesome applesauce bran muffins. Girls, they are so great! Ask her for the recipe.
I think I have been doing pretty good with my points. I still don't understand all of the ww points system, but thanks to y'all for trying to help me get it. I am trying to get my mom to lend me her tae boe starter tape for some cardio.
Tonight I am off to the NICU. I volunteer there on Tuesdays as part of a parent support network program that offers support for parents with preemies (I had three preemies). I have started trying to go more often, I miss it when I don't go!
Well ladies, good luck to all of you this week in your goals and endeavors!

Please help me figure this out!

2008-01-19T10:52:00.000-07:00

So I was out of yogurt this morning. I went to the store and after searching everywhere and nearly giving up, I found weight watchers yogurt. It said it was only 1 point, so I hurried up and bought it and came home. As I am eating it I am studying the back and to my surprise it says calorie content is 100 calories, and it only has 3 grams of fiber. So now I am flippin' confused! Isn't one point 50 calories? Doesn't there have to be 4 or more grams of fiber to minus a point? If someone can explain to me maybe in more detail how I am supposed to be using, or rather calculating my 21 daily points so I am doing it correctly I would so much appreciate it! Thanks ladies..

same old same...

2008-01-17T10:28:00.000-07:00

I weigh the exact same as last week! I dont know whether to be mad or glad about that..I had hoped for better loss, but this last week was kind of hard being pre-ovulating, I craved sweets something fierce. Well, I guess I know what I need to do to be better for next week, huh? Thank goodness for blue bunny low calorie bars though or else I may have gained a bunch LOL! Good, or I should say BETTER luck to all of you other ladies in your weigh-ins. *sigh*

Is today over yet?

2008-01-14T12:08:00.000-07:00

I missed breakfast today... I got up with the kids at 6 am today which is crazy! We had back to back dentist appointments at 8 and 9 and had to leave the house by 7:25 in order to get to north Provo by 8. Chantelle was first and last week at her check up I had warned the dentist that she was very scared due to her last appointment (at the mall dental group) where the dentist held her down while he gave her painful shots and drilled her teeth. It was a horrific traumatic experience for her and so needless to say we will never go back there again! We went to a dental office that actually I went to when I was younger and I am gonna plug this dentist, his name is Owen Wolfgramm, because he was the most kind and patient dentist, and he's not even a pediatric dentist. It took her 45 minutes of hysterics (while on the gas) dreading the shots, and all the while he kept explaining each and every step to her and reassuring her until finally he said he was not going to force her and we could do it another day. So Tyler was up, he had 5 cavities and of course didn't even flinch! Dr. Wolfgramm allowed not only Chantelle, but the other 3 kids in to watch the movie and he explained every step to chantelle as he had her by his side, even showing her the instruments and putting them on her skin so she could feel them. He was so incredible!! After Tyler was finished, Chantelle asked him if she could please try one more time, and he agreed. She sat there and was a perfect patient after that and got a cavity plus a root canal done! I am seriously considering having the younger girls transfer over to this office from the pediatrics. We got out of the Dentist at 11 and had to go and get some liquid advil and her pain medication at the pharmacy. We got home at 11:45, I fixed Jordan lunch and then took him to school. I just had Chantelle stay at home with the girls for the three minutes it took and by the time I got back she was walking around the house holding her mouth and crying. So I have drugged her up (poor girl!) and now have to fix lunch for the other girls and then we have errands to run. After errands it will be time for out of school, then snacks, then homework then chores, then dinner then bath then bed-somewhere in there I will try to take a deep breath-then time to exercise! Tomorrow Alexis has her yearly check-up at the doctors at 9 am in north Orem so we get to do another crazy day! Well enough chewing your ears off. I just want to say thank you for everyones support. I actually look forward to my days now, despite the normal craziness that accompanies them, because I am making daily goals that I am actually accomplishing. Life is good ladies! I hope y'all have a great day =)...

2008-01-13T22:15:00.000-07:00

To find the calorie value for any food and tons of major restaurants, go to www.caloriecounter.com.

to help laugh your butt off

2008-01-13T19:48:00.000-07:00

This guy actually moves into IKEA for a week in New York, and documents his stay! www.marklivesinikea.com. Can you imagine?!

cool site

2008-01-12T19:33:00.000-07:00

looking around on the internet today, I discovered a site that will tell you how many calories you burn for nearly every activity you do during the day dependant on your weight and duration of that activity. You would be shocked at how many calories are burned when you put down the mop and get on your hands and knees to scrub your floor! the site is www.ivillage.com then go under health and fitness and click on calorie burning calculator, and have fun!

So I am off!

2008-01-07T13:20:00.000-07:00

WOW! I didn't realize how much I would change things around for this challenge. I was the one who always had an aerobics class all through high school, then ran 5 miles every day until I got pregnant with my son who is now 10 1/2 because it was doctor ordered that I stay inactive. That was so hard, then there were 4 more kids to follow, and as I could have exercised in between babies, I thought "what the heck, it's gonna get ruined with the next pregnancy anyways, right?" So the last 3 1/2 years since my last baby was born I have had some pretty serious health issues to deal with and I cant help to wonder that if I had actually been in shape and healthy, would these have been a problem, or would they have been less traumatic on my body? hind sight is 20/20 huh? so I am so excited, no thrilled is more the word, to be able to get back to exercising! I do have to say that a decade of near inactivity is defineately visible everywhere and you all get to see the total ugliness of all of me, but I know the end result will be great.

So one of the first things I started doing last week was eating three meals a day. those of you who know me know this in itself is an incredible feat! it has been pretty hard too, since my ulcer ruptured and I developed the H-pilori, eating is almost an after thought in my day. Eating is actually painful if I do it more than once. So triplying my daily meal was really hard. But I know that my metabolism has nearly ceased to work at all and I also know the only way to rev it up is to retrain it with food. Breakfast consists of a low fat yoplait yogurt, 1 piece of whole wheat toast with raspberry jam and about 6 oz. of 2% milk. lunch comes too quickly but I eat again anyhow.. Lunch has so far been a ham sandwich with tomato on whole wheat, and I am actually measuring out the mayo! then I may or may not have the 11 barb-qued chips and I am now drinking crystal light. Dinner is whatever we are having, but with smaller portions.

Next I admitted to myself that I am addicted to cherry coke.. This is a sacrifice that hurts to give up. I now drink almost all water or crystal light, which you guys is really really good! I bought some coke zero for when I have those cravings I cant control, it has zero calories and zero fat and I was weary when I bought it, but I gotta tell you, its pretty darn good too.

Next, I realized that in order for me to actually exercise, I will need to do it before kids wake up, or after they are in bed. Research shows that a work out is more energizing and beneficial when done in the morning. So that meant I had to rearrange my sleeping habits. To bed earlier and awake earlier by one hour. Girls, I love my sleep! And I may love my late night rituals just as much! Beauty is pain....

And now to my exercising. I am too poor right now to join a gym. This has to wait until tax returns, so I have to use creativity for the next month or month and a half. I am doing a lot of toning exercises for the inner and outer thighs, the butt, the back (nothing says sexy like a toned back girls!), the tummy, the chest(I will be sad to lose the twins =( ), and of course the relief society arms. I know I need cardio and I am salivating at the thought of running again. I remember that as my stress relief, theres nothing like feeling your feet pound the pavement and with it all your stress disappearing with each step. But I will defineately have to work up to the 5 miles a day. BYU did a study that proved that cardio done before toning gives you more of a benefit than the other way around, so I am looking at what I can do for cardio indoors. Maybe a dvd or video?

Well thats all for now. I will update again later. Thanks for listening girls!

Before picture

2008-01-04T11:06:00.000-07:00

I'm here!

2008-01-02T21:35:00.000-07:00

So, another year has gone and here I am. Still a mom of five, still a wife (for 12.5 year now), and still not happy with who I see when I look in the mirror.

I am so excited to have the support of all of you ladies. You are helping me to stand accountable for, well, ME. I hope, no ~ I know that within the next 6 months I will become proud of myself and all of you ladies as well.

Keep watching to see my hips shrink and my confidence grow!!